Isaac Bickerstaff, Physician and AstrologerSteele, Richard, Sir
General
Isaac Bickerstaff, Physician and Astrologer
Steele, Richard, Sir
English wit and humor; Fictitious characters -- Autobiography
The one of these was commenting as he read, and explaining who was meant
by this and the other worthy as he passed on. I observed the person over
against him wonderfully intent and satisfied with his explanation. When
he came to Julius Caesar, who is said to have refused any conductor to
the table: "No, no," said he, "he is in the right of it, he has money
enough to be welcome wherever he comes;" and then whispered, "He means a
certain colonel of the Trainbands." Upon reading that Aristotle made his
claim with some rudeness, but great strength of reason; "Who can that
be, so rough and so reasonable? It must be some Whig, I warrant you.
There is nothing but party in these public papers." Where Pythagoras is
said to have a golden thigh, "Ay, ay," said he, "he has money enough in
his breeches; that is the alderman of our ward." You must know,
whatever he read, I found he interpreted from his own way of life and
acquaintance. I am glad my readers can construe for themselves these
difficult points; but, for the benefit of posterity, I design, when I
come to write my last paper of this kind, to make it an explanation of
all my former. In that piece you shall have all I have commended with
their proper names. The faulty characters must be left as they are,
because we live in an age wherein vice is very general, and virtue very
particular; for which reason the latter only wants explanation.
But I must turn my present discourse to what is of yet greater regard to
me than the care of my writings; that is to say, the preservation of
a lady's heart. Little did I think I should ever have business of this
kind on my hands more; but, as little as any one who knows me would
believe it, there is a lady at this time who professes love to me. Her
passion and good humour you shall have in her own words.
"MR. BICKERSTAFF,
"I had formerly a very good opinion of myself; but it is now withdrawn,
and I have placed it upon you, Mr. Bickerstaff, for whom I am not
ashamed to declare I have a very great passion and tenderness. It is not
for your face, for that I never saw; your shape and height I am equally
a stranger to; but your understanding charms me, and I am lost if you do
not dissemble a little love for me. I am not without hopes; because I am
not like the tawdry gay things that are fit only to make bone-lace. I
am neither childish-young, nor beldame-old, but, the world says, a good
agreeable woman.
"Speak peace to a troubled heart, troubled only for you; and in your
next paper, let me find your thoughts of me.
"Do not think of finding out who I am, for, notwithstanding your
interest in demons, they cannot help you either to my name, or a sight
of my face; therefore, do not let them deceive you.
"I can bear no discourse, if you are not the subject; and believe me, I
know more of love than you do of astronomy.
"Pray, say some civil things in return to my generosity, and you shall
have my very best pen employed to thank you, and I will confirm it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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