London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
Isabel took this step in consequence of troublous symptoms in the girl’s
life. Ada had always been a perfectly tractable child and had given as
little trouble as a child could. She never cried; her way of expressing
indignation or misery was to hide herself in the remotest corner she
could find, and there remain till she was discovered, when she suffered
herself to be led away in silence. Only once had Isabel, softly
approaching the half-open door of Ada’s bedroom at night, believed that
she heard a sob. She entered and spoke; Ada was awake, but indignantly
protested that she had not been crying. Isabel felt that there was not
a little obscure suffering in the child’s existence, and once or twice,
overcome by her compassionate instincts, tried to speak warmly, if
perchance she might find a means of winning the confidence which she had
not felt able to seek; but the result was not encouraging. At length
it seemed that the hidden misery was taking a form which could not be
disregarded, which demanded sympathy and motherly tenderness. Hitherto
Ada had shown no objection to meet and speak with the visitors or
guests at Knightswell; all at once she refused to see any stranger, and
resolutely kept her own rooms whenever Mrs. Clarendon had company.
She would give no explanation; her eyes flashed passionately, as if in
irrepressible irritation, when she was appealed to. And, for the first
time in her life, she suffered from ill-health; severe headache racked
her for days in succession.
The attempt which Isabel made to draw near to her in this crisis was the
occasion of a scene entirely new in their relations, and not thereafter
to be repeated. There were guests at Knightswell, and Ada did not
appear. Isabel went to the girl’s room, and obtained admission.
“Have you a headache, Ada?” she asked.
The reply was a short negative.
“Then, why don’t you come down? I very much wish you would. Will you
come down to please me?”
The girl was sitting at a table, seemingly engaged with her books. In
reality she had been motionless and unemployed for a couple of hours.
She was pale and her eyes bloodshot.
“No, Mrs. Clarendon,” she exclaimed; “I cannot come down to please you!
Why should I torture myself to give you pleasure?”
She had risen, and stood with a face of passionate anguish.
“Torture yourself?” Isabel repeated, almost in fear.
“Yes; it is torture, and you might know it. You ask me to meet your
friends because you think it, I suppose, a duty to do so; in truth,
you are ashamed of me, you had far rather not see me downstairs. I know
myself well enough, and I have glasses in my room. I know what these
people say and think of me. I can bear it no longer; I want to leave
you! I cannot live with you!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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