London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
Isabel could not find words to reply. There was a horrible element of
truth in the girls suspicions, though Ada did not and could not know its
meaning. It was, indeed, out of mere consideration for her feelings that
Isabel was pressing her to show herself.
“You can’t live with me, Ada?” she said at length, in despair that she
could not speak with the utterance of true feeling. “Am I unkind to
you?”
“You are nothing to me!” was the passionate reply. “Neither kind nor
unkind--you are nothing to me, and I am nothing to you! Why did you take
me into your house? What interest had you in me? Who am I?”
“Ada, you are the child of a friend of Mr. Clarendon’s. Mr. Clarendon
desired that I should take you and bring you up, as you had lost your
own parents. That is all I know of you--all.”
“Then you have done your best, and now let me go. We shall never like
each other. You took me from a poor home, and I suppose my parents were
poor people. It is not in my blood to like you, or to live your life.
When I was a child it didn’t matter; but, now I see and understand, I
know the difference between us. I will _never_ meet people who look on
me with contempt! Let me go. I will be a servant; it is what I am suited
for. You can’t keep me against my will, and I wish to leave you!”
For more than an hour Isabel strove against this resolve. Her task was
a hard one. By mere cold reasoning she had to face the outburst of a
nature which was all at once proving itself so deep and vehement. Could
she but have called emotion to her aid! Her own impassiveness was her
despair. That Ada should leave her was out of the question, yet by what
means could she restrain the girl if the latter proved persistent? She
could not tell her the truth; that was something she had put off to an
indefinite future, it was beyond her strength to face it as a present
necessity. The only appeal she could make was one which it cost her
unspeakable self-contempt to utter. To tell Ada that it would be gross
ingratitude to make this return to her mother by adoption. Well, what
else could be said? The misery of degradation brought the first tears to
her eyes.
“You don’t care whether I am grateful or not,” Ada replied, calmer at
length, because weak from nervous overstrain. “You care for me less than
for your servants. No soul cares for me.”
It was this feeling of desolation which had suddenly taken hold of the
developed girl. A heart craving for warmth had come to life within her;
her senses had awakened to desperate hunger. The pathos in her last
utterance was infinite; it touched Isabel to the core.
“It shall not be so, Ada,” was her answer to the cry. “We will be more
to each other; you shall not suffer from loneliness, poor child! I will
never ask you to see people you do not wish to, and I will give you all
I can of my own life. Be kind and childlike with me. My heart is not
hard, dear.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account