London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
One of these filled Kingcote with delight; he uttered an “Ah!” of
pleasure. It was a little girl standing before a shop-window, and
looking at an open illustrated paper which was exposed there. The
subject was nothing, the pose and character of the child everything.
Poor and ragged, she had lost for the moment sense of everything, but
the rich and comfortable little maiden displayed in the coloured page;
her look was envious, but had more of involuntary admiration. This too
was a night-piece; the light came from the front of the shop, above the
picture.
“The face is exquisite!” Kingcote said; “you have made great strides
this last halfyear.”
The artist uttered a “h’m,” and no more.
“So you got tired of your cottage,” he said, seating himself, and taking
up his pencil again.
“You know I was that, long since. But a different reason brought me back
to London.”
He explained his situation.
“And what shall you do?” Gabriel asked, simply.
“It is impossible to say. I must find work of some kind.”
“Well, this is good news! At last you’ll do something.”
“My dear fellow, it is the opposite of good news. I shall do something,
no doubt; but it will be drudgery of some kind to earn a living. There
is nothing more to come out of me than that.”
“Humbug! You are not as old as I am.”
“No, but old enough to have seen the end of my tether.”
“Why don’t you go in for writing?”
“Because I am unable to. I can enjoy other men’s work, but I can produce
none of my own.”
“Of course not, if you take it for granted. You could if you made up
your mind to.”
“Don’t forget that that making up of the mind is everything; it is the
very ability which I lack. But literature is a vain thought. How is it
for a moment to be imagined that I could earn a sufficient income by
it? I have written verses at times; you don’t advise me to go into the
market with those wares? Journalism I am utterly unfit for, as you
must recognise. Equally unfit to write for magazines; I have neither
knowledge nor versatility. There remains fiction, and for that I am
vastly too subjective; I have no ‘shaping spirit of imagination’--at
all events not of the commercially valuable kind. If I had lived in days
when Undine and Sintram were the approved style, I should probably have
been tempted to try my hand; but now----”
“Because,” he continued, “you are blessed with genius and will, you
think all men should, can do great things by dint of mere exertion.
I shall _never_ do anything; do you understand? And why should I? There
are other ways of enjoying life.”
“What other ways?” Gabriel asked, strangely.
“One can receive happiness, as well as be active in bestowing it.”
“Whence is your happiness to come?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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