Great Britain -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
Second hour. He rose from the stone floor after a vain attempt to sleep.
“Oh, no!” cried he, “sleep is for those who are well and happy, and who
could enjoy themselves as well awake; it won't come to me to save a poor
wretch from despair. I must tire myself, and I am too cold to sleep.
Here goes for a warm.” He groped to the wall, and keeping his hand on
it went round and round like a caged tiger. “Hawes hopes to drive me to
Bedlam. I'll do the best I can for myself to spite him. May he lie in a
place narrower than this, and almost as dark, with his jaw down and his
toes up before the year is out, curse him!” But the poor wretch's curses
quavered away into sobs and tears. “Oh, what have I done to be used
so as I am here? They drive me to despair, then drive me to hell for
despairing. Patience, or I shall go mad. Patience! Patience!” This hour
was passed cursing and weeping and groping for warmth and fatigue--in
vain.
Third hour. The man sat rocking himself to and fro, trying not to think
of anything. For now the past, too, was coming with all its weight upon
him; every minute he started up as if an adder had stung him; crawled
about his cell seeking refuge in motion and finding none; then he threw
himself on the floor and struggled for sleep. Sleep would not come so
sought; and now his spirits were quite cowed. He would cringe to Hawes;
he would lick the dust at his feet to get out of this horrible place;
who could he get to go and tell the governor he was _penitent_. He
listened at the door; he rapped; no one came. He put his ear to the
ground and listened; no sound--blackness, silence, solitude. “They have
left me here to die,” shrieked the despairing man, and he flung himself
on the floor and writhed upon the hard stone. “It must be morning,
and no one comes near me; this is my tomb!” Fear came upon him, and
trembling and a cold sweat bedewed his limbs; and once more the past
rushed over him with tenfold force; days of happiness and comparative
innocence now forfeited forever. His whole life whirled round before
his eyes in a panorama, scene dissolving into scene with inconceivable
rapidity; thus passed more than two hours; and now remorse and memory
concentrated themselves on one dark spot in this man's history. “She is
in the tomb,” cried he, “and all through me, and that is why I am here.
This is my grave. Do you see me, Mary?--she is here. The spirits of the
dead can go anywhere.” Then he trembled and cried for help. Oh! for a
human voice or a human footstep!--none. His nerves and senses were now
shaken. He cried aloud most piteously for help. “Mr. Fry, Mr. Hodges,
help! help! help! The cell is full of the dead, and devils are buzzing
round me waiting to carry me away--they won't wait much longer.” He
fancied something supernatural passed him like a wind. He struck wildly
at it. He flung himself madly against the door to escape it; he fell
back bruised and bleeding and lay a while in stupor.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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