"How dare you tell me what _he_ thought of me? I don't believe a word of
it! Do you suppose I am a simpleton? a fool? and cannot see that you
care for him, perhaps love him; and would prejudice me against him,
cause disunion if you could, but it is useless--utterly useless--for I
love him, Miss Neville;--loved him long before you knew him--long before
you ever saw him,--yes, you may stare; I am not ashamed to repeat
it--loved him--worshipped him if you will. What is your love, compared
to mine, but a paltry, insignificant, nameless thing? What is your love
that it should be preferred before mine? You whom he has known only so
short a time. There is nothing in the world I would not give up for him;
home, everything: for what are they all in comparison to his love? There
is nothing I would not do to win him; nothing too great a
sacrifice,--his love would compensate for all, and more than all."
Amy stood as if thunderstruck, while Frances, who had paused for a
moment, went madly on. The ice was broken,--Amy knew of her love, she
was glad of it, and cared not what she said.
"You talk of pity for your feelings: what are they in comparison to
mine? You have never seen him you love, deserting, forsaking you for
another. You have never seen his love grow colder and colder, his eye
less bright when it met yours, and his smile less kind; you have never
felt the cold touch of the hand that once warmly pressed yours, or found
that your words have been spoken to careless ears, your conversation
listened to heedlessly--indifferently; when before, every word that fell
from your lips was waited for with impatient eagerness; you have never
known the bitterness of estranged love; you have never known what it is
to feel that all your deep strong love is unsought, unvalued, uncared
for, that nothing, not even all your tenderness can recall the heart
that once loved, once beat for you alone. You talk of sorrows. What are
your sorrows compared to mine? You talk of trials; have you ever been
tried like this?"
Frances stopped, overcome by her emotion, and wept violently and
passionately; but her tears were caused more by the angry vehemence of
her manner than from sorrow.
Who could have believed that the pale proud girl that nothing seemed to
animate, nothing seemed to rouse, had such deep strong feelings within
her? that beneath that cold, proud demeanour, fiery, unruly passions lay
sleeping, requiring but a touch to call them forth with angry violence.
"Miss Strickland," said Amy, gently and pityingly placing her hand on
her arm, "believe me, I never suspected, never guessed all this, or I
should have made some excuse, some allowance for the manner in which you
spoke to us on that day."
"To _us_," exclaimed Francis, as she dashed away the soft hand, "already
you talk of him so; perhaps he has already told you he loves you, and
when next you meet it will be to triumph over me, and talk with pity of
her you have supplanted."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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