These were the words that troubled Amy, were ever at her heart all day,
and chased away sleep from her pillow, until her tired overwrought brain
relieved itself in silent, secret tears--tears far more painful than
passionate sobs. Those are at the surface, and soon over, they cure
grief by their very bitterness, and by the self-abandonment of the
sufferer; the others lie deeper and break the heart.
These words of Anne's, whether incautiously written or not, determined
Amy on not returning to Brampton, until Charles Linchmore's leave had
expired; and that, she knew, must be in another week or so. If Miss
Bennet meant he was fast losing his heart to Frances, and that Amy must
go back to wean him away, how little she knew of the pride of her
woman's nature. What! seek, or throw herself in the way of a man's love?
Scarcely wooed, be won? Amy shrank at the very idea. No, if her love was
worth having it was worth winning; and that,--not with the sternness of
man's nature, not by the force of his strong will, not by exciting her
jealousy with another, but by gentleness and kindness; and then her
heart reverted to Robert Vavasour, and she wished she could love him,
for had he not ever been kind to her? and gentle, very, even when she
had pained him most.
He had been very kind to her, there was no doubt about that, not only to
her, but for her sake to those most dear to her. At one time came some
beautiful hot-house grapes, at another some delicate game. Little Sarah
called them the gifts of the "good unknown."
The rail was open all the way to quiet Ashleigh now, and although the
place did not boast of a railway van or even porter, still the station
master always found some willing lad ready to take the basket to the
cottage, and great was the excitement it caused to Sarah and even quiet
old Hannah, but then the latter always knew her darling Miss Amy would
marry an Earl at the very least.
Mrs. Neville never questioned, but looked more searchingly in Amy's
face, laid her hand more caressingly those days on her head, and spoke
more softly and lovingly, while Amy never said a word.
Once, when Sarah came dancing into the room, in her wild spirits, with
another beautiful bunch of grapes, Mrs. Neville laid her thin, wasted
hand on Amy's, and said gently,--
"Is it all right, Amy?"
"All," was the reply, and Mrs. Neville leant back again, apparently
satisfied.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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