LEBEDIEFF. So shall I. [He pours out the vodka] You must be immortal, you old magpie! You were an old woman when I first knew you, thirty years ago. AVDOTIA. I have lost count of the years. I have buried three husbands, and would have married a fourth if any one had wanted a woman without a dowry. I have had eight children. [She takes up the glass] Well, we have begun a good work, may it come to a good end! They will live happily ever after, and we shall enjoy their happiness. Love and good luck to them both! [She drinks] This is strong vodka! SHABELSKI. [laughing loudly, to LEBEDIEFF] The funny thing is, they actually think I am in earnest. How strange! [He gets up] And yet, Paul, why shouldn't I play her this shabby trick? Just out of spite? To give the devil something to do, eh, Paul? LEBEDIEFF. You are talking nonsense, Count. You and I must fix our thoughts on dying now; we have left Martha's money far behind us; our day is over. SHABELSKI. No, I shall certainly marry her; upon my word, I shall! Enter IVANOFF and LVOFF. LVOFF. Will you please spare me five minutes of your time? LEBEDIEFF. Hallo, Nicholas! [He goes to meet IVANOFF] How are you, old friend? I have been waiting an hour for you. AVDOTIA. [Bows] How do you do, my son? IVANOFF. [Bitterly] So you have turned my library into a bar-room again, have you? And yet I have begged you all a thousand times not to do so! [He goes up to the table] There, you see, you have spilt vodka all over my papers and scattered crumbs and cucumbers everywhere! It is disgusting! LEBEDIEFF. I beg your pardon, Nicholas. Please forgive me. I have something very important to speak to you about. BORKIN. So have I. LVOFF. May I have a word with you? IVANOFF. [Pointing to LEBEDIEFF] He wants to speak to me; wait a minute. [To LEBEDIEFF] Well, what is it? LEBEDIEFF. [To the others] Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, I want to speak to him in private. SHABELSKI goes out, followed by AVDOTIA, BORKIN, and LVOFF. IVANOFF. Paul, you may drink yourself as much as you choose, it is your weakness, but I must ask you not to make my uncle tipsy. He never used to drink at all; it is bad for him. LEBEDIEFF. [Startled] My dear boy, I didn't know that! I wasn't thinking of him at all. IVANOFF. If this old baby should die on my hands the blame would be mine, not yours. Now, what do you want? [A pause.] LEBEDIEFF. The fact is, Nicholas--I really don't know how I can put it to make it seem less brutal--Nicholas, I am ashamed of myself, I am blushing, my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. My dear boy, put yourself in my place; remember that I am not a free man, I am as putty in the hands of my wife, a slave--forgive me! IVANOFF. What does this mean? LEBEDIEFF. My wife has sent me to you; do me a favour, be a friend to me, pay her the interest on the money you owe her. Believe me, she has been tormenting me and going for me tooth and nail. For heaven's sake, free yourself from her clutches!