Russia -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Drama; Russian drama -- Translations into English
IVANOFF. Listen to me, poor old friend. I shall not try to explain
myself to you. I shall not tell you whether I am honest or a rascal,
healthy or mad; you wouldn't understand me. I was young once; I have
been eager and sincere and intelligent. I have loved and hated and
believed as no one else has. I have worked and hoped and tilted against
windmills with the strength of ten--not sparing my strength, not knowing
what life was. I shouldered a load that broke my back. I drank, I
worked, I excited myself, my energy knew no bounds. Tell me, could I
have done otherwise? There are so few of us and so much to do, so much
to do! And see how cruelly fate has revenged herself on me, who fought
with her so bravely! I am a broken man. I am old at thirty. I have
submitted myself to old age. With a heavy head and a sluggish mind,
weary, used up, discouraged, without faith or love or an object in life,
I wander like a shadow among other men, not knowing why I am alive or
what it is that I want. Love seems to me to be folly, caresses false.
I see no sense in working or playing, and all passionate speeches seem
insipid and tiresome. So I carry my sadness with me wherever I go; a
cold weariness, a discontent, a horror of life. Yes, I am lost for ever
and ever. Before you stands a man who at thirty-five is disillusioned,
wearied by fruitless efforts, burning with shame, and mocking at his own
weakness. Oh, how my pride rebels against it all! What mad fury chokes
me! [He staggers] I am staggering--my strength is failing me. Where is
Matthew? Let him take me home.
[Voices from the ball-room] The best man has arrived!
Enter SHABELSKI.
SHABELSKI. In an old worn-out coat--without gloves! How many scornful
glances I get for it! Such silly jokes and vulgar grins! Disgusting
people.
Enter BORKIN quickly. He is carrying a bunch of flowers and is in a
dress-coat. He wears a flower in his buttonhole.
BORKIN. This is dreadful! Where is he? [To IVANOFF] They have been
waiting for you for a long time in the church, and here you are talking
philosophy! What a funny chap you are. Don't you know you must not go
to church with the bride, but alone, with me? I shall then come back for
her. Is it possible you have not understood that? You certainly are an
extraordinary man!
Enter LVOFF.
LVOFF. [To IVANOFF] Ah! So you are here? [Loudly] Nicholas Ivanoff, I
denounce you to the world as a scoundrel!
IVANOFF. [Coldly] Many thanks!
BORKIN. [To LVOFF] Sir, this is dastardly! I challenge you to a duel!
LVOFF. Monsieur Borkin, I count it a disgrace not only to fight with
you, but even to talk to you! Monsieur Ivanoff, however, can receive
satisfaction from me whenever he chooses!
SHABELSKI. Sir, I shall fight you!
SASHA. [To LVOFF] Why, oh why, have you insulted him? Gentlemen, I beg
you, let him tell me why he has insulted him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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