Fairy tales -- Parodies, imitations, etc.; Short stories, American
"Yes, your Highness," said the blackamoor. "And will your Grace
breakfast?"
"Yes," said Aladdin. "Have breakfast on the table in one hour from
now--fried eggs, buckwheat cakes, tenderloin steak, and a little salt
fish. I desire, also, to have Major Bondifeller at breakfast with me,
and, mind you, tell him not to keep me waiting."
"As your Highness wills," said the blackamoor, retiring.
Aladdin's orders were fulfilled to the letter, and after the breakfast
was over he summoned the genie with a considerable flourish, which
deeply impressed his guest.
"Now, Sambo," said he, "I want you to take the limousine, go up to the
St. Gotham Hotel and inform the proprietor that Monsieur Le Duc di
Lumière will arrive there, with his mother the Countess de Bougie, and
suite, precisely at noon, and desires the best accommodations the house
can provide. To inspire confidence you would better take a few diamond
necklaces with you and deposit them for safe-keeping at the office; and
while you are about it, I'd like a couple of thousand dollars for
pocket-money."
As he gave these orders Aladdin scarcely dared look at the genie, for
fear of rebellion, but they seemed to make no impression at all upon the
blackamoor, who merely bowed his acquiescence and handed Aladdin a bag
full of gold pieces. As for the Major, who had passed a sleepless night,
he merely blinked amazedly at these astounding occurrences. Finally, he
found his voice. "You are the Duc di Lumière?" he asked.
"At your service," said Aladdin.
"And may I ask what you are doing here in these squalid quarters?"
continued the old man.
"I am conducting a personal investigation into the lives of the
unfortunate," replied Aladdin. "By some extraordinary good chance the
Fates have thrown you, who are largely responsible for the awful
conditions I find here, into my hands, with power to control your
movements. Within a radius of ten city blocks, Major Bondifeller, there
are enough human souls living in squalid misery to populate a New
England city, and yet you pay no more attention to them, nay, not as
much, as you pay to a fly that enters your house and buzzes around your
pate. You give the fly some personal attention, but in this matter of
your tenements you do nothing whatsoever, leaving it to an agent to care
for your smaller interests. I believe those are your own words. Now,
sir, it is in my power to keep you here for as long a time as I wish,
but I don't want to make a prisoner of you. I want to give you a chance
to do something for your fellow-men, especially those who can never
hope to repay you save in gratitude. You heard my views last night. I
ask nothing for myself, for, as you see, I do not need anything for
myself. I have but to order what I wish, and it is here."
"Your model tenements are a useless ideal," retorted Bondifeller. "Only
last year, at enormous expense, I put bath-tubs in all my tenements, and
my agent reports that the tenants use them to store their coal in."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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