About all there was left for me was to take long walks. Athletics were
out of the question; I couldn't compete with psi-boys and they didn't
want to compete with me. All the people in the neighborhood knew me
and were nice to me, but I didn't need to be a 'path to tell what they
were saying to one another when I hove into sight. "There's that oldest
Faraday boy. Pity, such a talented family, to have a defective."
I didn't have a girl, either. Although some of them were sort of
attracted to me--I could see that--they could hardly go out with me
without exposing themselves to ridicule. In their sandals, I would have
done the same thing, but that didn't stop me from hating them.
* * * * *
I wished I had been born a couple of hundred years ago--before people
started playing around with nuclear energy and filling the air with
radiations that they were afraid would turn human beings into hideous
monsters. Instead, they developed the psi powers that had always been
latent in the species until we developed into a race of supermen. I
don't know why I say _we_--in 1960 or so, I might have been considered
superior, but in 2102 I was just the Faradays' idiot boy.
Exploring space should have been my hope. If there had been anything
useful or interesting on any of the other planets, I might have found
a niche for myself there. In totally new surroundings, the psi powers
geared to another environment might not be an advantage. But by the
time I was ten, it was discovered that the other planets were just
barren hunks of rock, with pressures and climates and atmospheres
drastically unsuited to human life. A year or so before, the hyperdrive
had been developed on Earth and ships had been sent out to explore the
stars, but I had no hope left in that direction any more.
I was an atavism in a world of peace and plenty. Peace, because people
couldn't indulge in war or even crime with so many telepaths running
around--not because, I told myself, the capacity for primitive behavior
wasn't just as latent in everybody else as the psi talent seemed latent
in me. Tim must be right, I thought--I must have some undreamed-of
power that only the right circumstances would bring out. But what was
that power?
For years I had speculated on what my potential talent might be,
explored every wild possibility I could conceive of and found none
productive of even an ambiguous result with which I could fool myself.
As I approached adulthood, I began to concede that I was probably
nothing more than what I seemed to be--a simple psi-negative. Yet, from
time to time, hope surged up again, as it had today, in spite of my
knowledge that my hope was an impossibility. Who ever heard of latent
psi powers showing themselves in an individual as old as twenty-six?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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