Wood went on fuming, and the trio went on laughing for some
minutes, nobody knew why or wherefore, until the party was increased
by Mr. Wood, in his Sunday habiliments and Sunday buckle. Without
stopping to inquire into the cause of their mirth, or even to ask
the names of his guests, the worthy carpenter shook hands with the
one-eyed chapmen, slapped Mr. Kneebone cordially on the shoulder, and
began to laugh as heartily as any of them.
Mrs. Wood could stand it no longer.
“I think you're all bewitched,” she cried.
“So we are, Ma'am, by your charms,” returned Mr. Jackson, gallantly.
“Quite captivated, Ma'am,” added Mr. Smith, placing his hand on his
breast.
Mr. Kneebone and Mr. Wood laughed louder than ever.
“Mr. Wood,” said the lady bridling up, “my request may, perhaps, have
some weight with _you_. I desire, Sir, you'll recollect yourself.
Mr. Kneebone,” she added, with a glance at that gentleman, which was
meant to speak daggers, “will do as he pleases.”
Here the chapmen set up another boisterous peal.
“No offence, I hope, my dear Mrs. W,” said Mr. Kneebone in a
conciliatory tone. “My friends, Mr. Jackson and Mr. Smith, may have
rather odd ways with them; but--”
“They _have_ very odd ways,” interrupted Mrs. Wood, disdainfully.
“Our worthy friend was going to observe, Ma'am, that we never fail in
our devotion to the fair sex,” said Mr. Jackson.
“Never, Ma'am!” echoed Mr. Smith, “upon my conscience.”
“My dear,” said the hospitable carpenter, “I dare say Mr. Kneebone
and his friends would be glad of a little refreshment.”
“They shall have it, then,” replied his better half, rising. “You
base ingrate,” she added, in a whisper, as she flounced past Mr.
Kneebone on her way to the door, “how could you bring such creatures
with you, especially on an occasion like this, when we haven't met
for a fortnight!”
“Couldn't help it, my life,” returned the gentleman addressed, in the
same tone; “but you little know who those individuals are.”
“Lord bless us! you alarm me. Who are they?”
Mr. Kneebone assumed a mysterious air; and bringing his lips close
to Mrs. Wood's ear, whispered, “secret agents from France--you
understand--friends to the cause--hem!”
“I see,--persons of rank!”
Mr. Kneebone nodded.
“Noblemen.”
Mr. Kneebone smiled assent.
“Mercy on us! Well, I thought their manners quite out o' the common.
And so, the invasion really is to take place after all; and the
Chevalier de Saint George is to land at the Tower with fifty thousand
Frenchmen; and the Hanoverian usurper's to be beheaded; and Doctor
Sacheverel's to be made a bishop, and we're all to be--eh?”
“All in good time,” returned Kneebone, putting his finger to his
lips; “don't let your imagination run away with you, my charmer. That
boy,” he added, looking at Thames, “has his eye upon us.”
Mrs. Wood, however, was too much excited to attend to the caution.
“O, lud!” she cried; “French noblemen in disguise! and so rude as I
was! I shall never recover it!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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