“It happened, gentlemen,” pursued the Master, “on a particular
occasion, about the time I've mentioned, that the Archduke of
Alsatia, the Sovereign of the Savoy, and the Satrap of Salisbury
Court, met by accident at the Cross Shovels. A jolly night we made
of it, as you may suppose; for four such monarchs don't often come
together. Well, while we were smoking our pipes, and quaffing our
punch, Alsatia turns to me and says, 'Mint,' says he, 'you're well
off here.'--'Pretty well,' says I; 'you're not badly off at the
Friars, for that matter.'--'Oh! yes we are,' says he.--'How so?'
says I.--'It's all up with us,' says he; 'they've taken away our
charter.'--'They can't,' says I.--'They have,' says he.--'They
can't, I tell you,' says I, in a bit of a passion; 'it's
unconstitutional.'--'Unconstitutional or not,' says Salisbury Court
and Savoy, speaking together, 'it's true. We shall become a prey to
the Philistines, and must turn honest in self-defence.'--'No fear
o' that,' thought I.--'I see how it'll be,' observed Alsatia,
'everybody'll pay his debts, and only think of such a state of things
as that.'--'It's _not_ to be thought of,' says I, thumping the table
till every glass on it jingled; 'and I know a way as'll prevent
it.'--'What is it, Mint?' asked all three.--'Why, hang every
bailiff that sets a foot in your territories, and you're safe,' says
I.--'We'll do it,' said they, filling their glasses, and looking as
fierce as King George's grenadier guards; 'here's your health,
Mint.' But, gentlemen, though they talked so largely, and looked so
fiercely, they did _not_ do it; they did _not_ hang the bailiffs; and
where are they?”
“Ay, where are they?” echoed the company with indignant derision.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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