England -- Fiction; Experimental fiction; Psychological fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
The perambulator was going through the little gate in the railing. She
kissed her hand; directed by the nurse, Jimmy waved his.
"HE'S a small boy," she said, thinking of Jacob.
And yet--Alceste?
"What a nuisance you are!" Jacob grumbled, stretching out first one leg
and then the other and feeling in each trouser-pocket for his chair
ticket.
"I expect the sheep have eaten it," he said. "Why do you keep sheep?"
"Sorry to disturb you, sir," said the ticket-collector, his hand deep in
the enormous pouch of pence.
"Well, I hope they pay you for it," said Jacob. "There you are. No. You
can stick to it. Go and get drunk."
He had parted with half-a-crown, tolerantly, compassionately, with
considerable contempt for his species.
Even now poor Fanny Elmer was dealing, as she walked along the Strand,
in her incompetent way with this very careless, indifferent, sublime
manner he had of talking to railway guards or porters; or Mrs.
Whitehorn, when she consulted him about her little boy who was beaten by
the schoolmaster.
Sustained entirely upon picture post cards for the past two months,
Fanny's idea of Jacob was more statuesque, noble, and eyeless than ever.
To reinforce her vision she had taken to visiting the British Museum,
where, keeping her eyes downcast until she was alongside of the battered
Ulysses, she opened them and got a fresh shock of Jacob's presence,
enough to last her half a day. But this was wearing thin. And she wrote
now--poems, letters that were never posted, saw his face in
advertisements on hoardings, and would cross the road to let the
barrel-organ turn her musings to rhapsody. But at breakfast (she shared
rooms with a teacher), when the butter was smeared about the plate, and
the prongs of the forks were clotted with old egg yolk, she revised
these visions violently; was, in truth, very cross; was losing her
complexion, as Margery Jackson told her, bringing the whole thing down
(as she laced her stout boots) to a level of mother-wit, vulgarity, and
sentiment, for she had loved too; and been a fool.
"One's godmothers ought to have told one," said Fanny, looking in at the
window of Bacon, the mapseller, in the Strand--told one that it is no
use making a fuss; this is life, they should have said, as Fanny said it
now, looking at the large yellow globe marked with steamship lines.
"This is life. This is life," said Fanny.
"A very hard face," thought Miss Barrett, on the other side of the
glass, buying maps of the Syrian desert and waiting impatiently to be
served. "Girls look old so soon nowadays."
The equator swam behind tears.
"Piccadilly?" Fanny asked the conductor of the omnibus, and climbed to
the top. After all, he would, he must, come back to her.
But Jacob might have been thinking of Rome; of architecture; of
jurisprudence; as he sat under the plane tree in Hyde Park.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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