It was a sad Ste.-Clotilde's day that year. Marien, who came in the
evening, heard with surprise that the Baroness was indisposed and could
see no one. For twelve days after this he continued in disgrace, being
refused admittance when he called. Those twelve days were days of
anguish for Jacqueline. To see Marien no longer, to be treated with
coldness by her father, to see in the blue eyes of her stepmother--eyes
so soft and tender when they looked upon her hitherto--only a harsh,
mistrustful glare, almost a look of hatred, was a punishment greater than
she could bear. What had she done to deserve punishment? Of what was
she accused? She spoke of her wretchedness to Fraulein Schult, who,
perfidiously, day after day, drew from her something to report to Madame
de Nailles. That lady was somewhat consoled, while suffering tortures of
jealousy, to know that the girl to whom these sufferings were due was
paying dearly for her fault and was very unhappy.
On the twelfth day something occurred which, though it made no noise in
the household, had very serious consequences. The effect it produced on
Jacqueline was decisive and deplorable. The poor child, after going
through all the states of mind endured by those who suffer under
unmerited disgrace--revolt, indignation, sulkiness, silent obstinacy--
felt unable to bear it longer. She resolved to humble herself, hoping
that by so doing the wall of ice that had arisen between her stepmother
and herself might be cast down. By this time she cared less to know of
what fault she was supposed to be guilty than to be taken back into favor
as before. What must she do to obtain forgiveness? Explanations are
usually worthless; besides, none might be granted her. She remembered
that when she was a small child she had obtained immediate oblivion of
any fault by throwing herself impulsively into the arms of her little
mamma, and asking her to forget whatever she had done to displease her,
for she had not done it on purpose. She would do the same thing now.
Putting aside all pride and obstinacy, she would go to this mamma, who,
for some days, had seemed so different. She would smother her in kisses.
She might possibly be repelled at first. She would not mind it. She was
sure that in the end she would be forgiven.
No sooner was this resolution formed than she hastened to put it into
execution. It was the time of day when Madame de Nailles was usually
alone. Jacqueline went to her bedchamber, but she was not there, and a
moment after she stood on the threshold of the little salon. There she
stopped short, not quite certain how she should proceed, asking herself
what would be her reception.
"How shall I do it?" she thought. "How had I better do it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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