James Gilmour of Mongolia: His diaries, letters, and reportsGilmour, James
Religion
James Gilmour of Mongolia: His diaries, letters, and reports
Gilmour, James
Gilmour, James, 1843-1891; Missions -- Mongolia
'In my mission work out here I am much thrown upon God. The field
is a very hard one. The superstitions are like towns walled up to
heaven. The power of man avails nothing against them. As far as man
is concerned I am almost alone. I turn to God. I hear the words,
"Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit," saith the Lord. I
trust Him. I call upon Him. I commune with Him. He comes near me. I
ask Him to convert men. There are conversions, a few true, as far
as I can judge. But there seems some barrier between God and me to
a certain extent. Thinking round to see what it can be, I hear a
voice saying, "Can't you trust Me with the money you have laid up
for your children?" I think over it I pray over it. I say, "I may
die and the boys need the money." God replies, "If you trust Me
with it, don't you think I'd give them it as they needed?" I say,
"But my father and brothers might not see it so, and might not like
the idea of destitute orphan children on their hands." God replies,
"With _Me_ for their banker children are not destitute, and if you
prefer father and brothers before Me, you are not worthy of Me."
Then I say, "What will you have me do?" God says, "Give Me the
money; I'll see they have all that is necessary." I dare not
disobey. I don't want to disobey. I am so much exercised over the
spiritual well-being of the boys, that I gladly do anything that
will make them in any sense more specially protÈgÈs of God. I am
alarmed at the fate of some missionaries' children who have not
turned out godly men. Preserve the boys from this!
'This is no sudden resolution. I have thought and prayed much over
it. I can delay this step no longer without feeling I would be
refusing to follow God's guidance. I feel, too, that God has so
many ways in which He can bless the lads and me, that in making
this arrangement I am running no risk. The only thing I am not
quite clear about is the detailed disposition of the money.
Meantime, it seems to me that I can best use it for God in this
mission here. I mean to bank it in Peking, in the first instance,
and use it for renting or buying premises.
'As to the general principle of having money for ourselves or
children, I do not think God asks us all to put all we may have or
get thus in His keeping, or asks me even to put _all_ into His
keeping in this especial manner. You know the money was originally
saved from the salary given by the mission, and in this sense is
peculiar. Money that I had earned by trade, or otherwise come by, I
do not think God would ask me to dispose of it so. But His voice
seems very plain in this present case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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