Next day she did not rise as early as usual. Her mother came to her
bedside, and inquired affectionately after her health. The visit was
received with smiling and affectionate complacency. Her indisposition was
disguised, and she studied to persuade Mrs. Fielder that she enjoyed her
usual tranquillity. She rose, and attempted to eat, but quickly desisted,
and after a little while retired and locked herself up in her chamber.
Even Molly was not allowed to follow her.
In this way that and the ensuing day passed. She wore an air of
constrained cheerfulness in her mother's presence; affected interest in
common topics; and retired at every convenient interval to her chamber,
where she wept incessantly.
Mrs. Fielder's eye was watchful and anxious. She addressed Mrs. Talbot
in a tender and maternal accent; seemed solicitous to divert her attention
by anecdotes of New York friends; and carefully eluded every subject
likely to recall images which were already too intimately present. The
daughter seemed grateful for these solicitudes, and appeared to fight with
her feelings the more resolutely because they gave pain to her mother.
All this was I compelled to hear from the communicative Molly.
My heart bled at this recital. Too well did I predict what effect her
compliance would have on her peace.
I asked if Jane had not received a letter from me.
Yes; two letters had come to the door at once, this morning,--one for
Mrs. Fielder and the other for her daughter. Jane expected its arrival,
and showed the utmost impatience when the hour approached. She walked
about her chamber, listened, with a start, to every sound, continually
glanced from her window at the passengers.
She did not conceal from Molly the object of her solicitude. The good
girl endeavoured to soothe her, but she checked her with vehemence:--"Talk
not to me, Molly. On this hour depends my happiness,--my life. The
sacrifice my mother asks is too much or too little. In bereaving me of my
love, she must be content to take my existence also. They never shall be
separated."
The weeping girl timorously suggested that she had already given me
up.
"True, Molly, in a rash moment I told him that we meet no more; but two
days of misery have convinced me that it cannot be. His answer will decide
my fate as to this world. If he accept my dismissal, I am thenceforth
undone. I will die. Blessing my mother, and wishing her a less stubborn
child, _I will die_."
These last words were uttered with an air the most desperate, and an
emphasis the most solemn. They chilled me to the heart, and I was unable
longer to keep my seat. Molly, unbidden, went on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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