I took occasion to renew the subject with my father, some time after
this. I could only deal in general observations on the imprudence of
putting independence and subsistence to hazard: though the past was not to
be recalled, yet the future was his own, and it would not be unworthy of
him to act with caution. I was obliged to mingle this advice with much
foreign matter, and convey it in the most indirect and gentle terms. His
pride was easily offended at being thought to want the counsel of a
girl.
He replied to my remarks with confidence, that no further demand would
be made upon him. The last sum was given with extreme reluctance, and
nothing but the positive assurance that it would absolutely be the last
had prevailed with him.
"Suppose, sir," said I, "what you have already given should prove
insufficient. Suppose some new demand should be made upon you."
"I cannot suppose that, after so many solemn and positive
assurances."
"But were not assurances as positive and solemn on every former
occasion as the last?"
"Why, yes, I must own they were; but new circumstances arose that could
not be foreseen?"
"And, dear sir, may not new circumstances arise hereafter that could
not be foreseen?"
"Nay, nay," (with some impatience;) "I tell you there cannot be
any."
I said no more on this subject at this time; but my father,
notwithstanding the confidence he expressed, was far from being at
ease.
One day I found him in great perturbation. I met my brother, who was
going out as I entered, and suspected the cause of his disquiet. He spoke
less than usual, and sighed deeply. I endeavoured, by various means, to
prevail on him to communicate his thoughts, and at last succeeded. My
brother, it seems, had made a new demand upon his purse, and he had been
brought reluctantly to consent to raise the necessary sum by a mortgage on
his house, the only real property he possessed. My brother had gone to
procure a lender and prepare the deeds.
I was less surprised at this intelligence than grieved. I thought I saw
my father's ruin was inevitable, and knew not how to prevent or
procrastinate it. After a long pause, I ventured to insinuate that, as the
thing was yet to be done, as there was still time for deliberation----
"No, no," interrupted he; "I must go on. It is too late to repent.
Unless new funds are supplied, all that we have hitherto done will go for
nothing; and Frank assures me that one more sacrifice and all will be
well."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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