"I am thoroughly convinced that it is not in my power to afford you any
effectual aid in your present difficulties. It will be very easy to injure
myself. The request you make can have no other tendency. I must therefore
decline complying."
The facility with which I had yielded up my first resolutions probably
encouraged him to this second application, and I formed very solemn
resolutions not to be seduced a second time.
In a few minutes after despatching my answer, he appeared. I need not
repeat our conversation. He extorted from me, without much difficulty,
what I had heard through my mother, and--methinks I am ashamed to confess
it--by exchanging his boisterous airs for pathetic ones, by appealing to
my sisterly affection and calling me his angel and saviour, and especially
by solemnly affirming that Frazer's story was a calumny, I at length did
as he would have me: yet only for _three_ hundred; I would not go
beyond that sum.
The moment he left me, I perceived the weakness and folly of my conduct
in the strongest light, I renewed all my prudent determinations; yet,
strange to tell, within less than a week, the same scene of earnest
importunity on his side, and of foolish flexibility on mine, was
reacted.
With every new instance of folly, my shame and selfcondemnation
increased, and the more difficult I found it to disclose the truth to my
mother.
In the course of a very few days, one-half of my little property was
gone. A sum sufficient, according to my system of economy, to give me
decent independence of the world for at least three years, had been
dissipated by the prodigality of a profligate woman. At the time, indeed,
I was ignorant of this. It was impossible not to pay some regard to the
plausible statements and vehement asseverations of my brother, and to
suffer them to weigh something against charges which might possibly be
untrue. As soon as accident had put me in full possession of the truth on
this head, I was no longer thus foolishly obsequious.
The next morning after our last interview I set out, as usual, to bid
good-morrow to my father. My uneasy thoughts led me unaware to extend my
walk, till I reached the door of a watchmaker with whom my servant had,
some time before, left a watch to be repaired. It occurred to me that,
since I was now on the spot, I might as well stop and make some inquiry
about it. On entering the shop I almost repented of my purpose, as two
persons were within the bar, if I may call it so, seated in a lounging
posture, by a small stove, smoking cigars and gazing at me with an air of
indolent impertinence. I determined to make my stay as short as possible,
and hurried over a few questions to the artist, who knew me only as the
owner of the watch. My attention was quickly roused by one of the
loungers, who, having satisfied his curiosity by gazing at me, turned to
the other and said, "Well, you have hardly been to Frank's this morning, I
suppose?"
"Indeed, but I have," was the reply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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