For a long time this absurd indulgence was shown in allowing his son to
employ his time as he pleased, in refraining from all animadversions on
his idleness and dissipation, and supplying him with a generous allowance
of pocket-money. This allowance required now and then to be increased.
Every year and every month, by adding new sources of expense, added
something to the stipend.
My father's revenue was adequate to a very splendid establishment; but
he was accustomed to live frugally, and thought it wise to add his savings
to the principal of his estate. These savings gradually grew less and
less, till at length my brother's numerous excursions, a French girl whom
he maintained in expensive lodgings, his horses, dogs, and _friends_,
consumed the whole of it.
I never met my brother but by accident. These interviews were, for the
most part, momentary, either in the street or at my father's house; but I
was too much interested in all that befell him, not to make myself, by
various means, thoroughly acquainted with his situation.
I had no power to remedy the evil: as my elder brother, and as a man,
he thought himself entitled to govern and despise me. He always treated me
as a frivolous girl, with whom it was waste of time to converse, and never
spoke to me at all except to direct or admonish. Hence I could do nothing
but regret his habits. Their consequences to himself it was beyond my
power to prevent.
For a long time I was totally unaware of the tendencies of this mode of
life. I did not suspect that a brother's passions would carry him beyond
the bound of vulgar prudence, or induce him to encroach on those funds
from which his present enjoyments were derived. I knew him to be endowed
with an acute understanding, and imagined that this would point out, with
sufficient clearness, the wisdom of limiting his expenses to his
income.
In my daily conversations with my father, I never voluntarily
introduced Frank as our topic, unless by the harmless and trite questions
of "When was he here?" "Where has he gone?" and the like. We met only by
accident, at his lodgings; when I entered the room where he was, he never
thought of bestowing more than a transient look on me, just to know who it
was that approached. Circumstances at length, however, occurred, which put
an end to this state of neutrality.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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