Will you be surprised that I shudder when my mother urges me in this
strain, with her customary energy? Always wont to be obsequious to the
very turn of her eye, and to make her will not only the regulator of my
actions, but the criterion of my understanding, it is impossible not to
hesitate, to review all that has passed between us, and reconsider anew
the motives that have made me act as I have acted.
Yet the review always confirms me in my first opinion. You err, but are
not obstinate in error. If your opinions be adverse to religion, your
affections are not wholly estranged from it. Your understanding dissents,
but your heart is not yet persuaded to refuse. You have powers,
irresistible in whatever direction they are bent; capable of giving the
highest degree of misery or happiness to yourself and to others. At
present they are misdirected or inactive; they are either pernicious or
useless.
How can I, who have had ample opportunities of knowing you, stand by
with indifference while such is your state? I love you, it is true. All
your felicity and all your woe become mine. I have a selfish interest in
your welfare. I cannot bear the thought of passing through this world, or
of entering any future world, without you. My heart has tried in vain to
create a separate interest, to draw consolation from a different source.
Hence indifference to your welfare is impossible. But would not
indifference, even if no extraordinary tie subsisted between us, be
criminal? What becomes of our obligation to do good to others, if we do
not exert ourselves, when all the means are in our power, to confer the
most valuable of all benefits, to remove the greatest of all ills?
Of what stuff must that heart be made which can behold, unmoved, genius
and worth, destitute of the joys and energies of religion; wandering in a
maze of passions and doubts; devoured by fantastic repinings and vague
regrets; drearily conscious of wanting a foundation whereon to repose, a
guide in whom to trust? What heart can gaze at such a spectacle without
unspeakable compassion?
Not to have our pity and our zeal awakened seems to me to argue the
utmost depravity of heart. No stronger proof can be given that we
ourselves are destitute of true religion. The faith or the practice must
be totally wanting. We may talk devoutly; we may hie, in due season, to
the house of prayer; while there, we may put on solemn visages and mutter
holy names. We may abstain from profane amusements or unauthorized words;
we may shun, as infections, the company of unbelievers. We may study
homilies and creeds; but all this, without _rational_ activity for
others' good, is not religion. I see, in all this, nothing that I am
accustomed to call by that name.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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