"Yes," I replied; "but first we must be honest, and not cheat Mr
Cophagus; the vial is sold, you know, for one penny, and I suppose the
stuff I have taken is not worth a penny more. Now, if we put aside
two-pence for Mr Cophagus, we don't cheat him, or steal his property;
the other seven-pence is of course our own--being the _profits of the
profession_."
"But how shall we account for receiving the two-pence?" said Timothy.
"Selling two vials instead of one: they are never reckoned, you know."
"That will do capitally," cried Timothy; "and now for halves." But this
could not be managed until Timothy had run out and changed the sixpence;
we then each had our three-pence halfpenny, and for once in our lives
could say that we had money in our pockets.
Chapter III
I perform a wonderful cure upon St John Long's principle, having
little or no principle of my own--I begin to puzzle my head with a
problem; of all others most difficult to solve.
The success of our first attempt encouraged us to proceed; but afraid
that I might do some mischief, I asked of Mr Brookes the nature and
qualities of the various medicines, as he was mixing the prescriptions,
that I might avoid taking any of those which were poisonous. Mr Brookes,
pleased with my continual inquiries, gave me all the information I could
desire, and thus I gained, not only a great deal of information, but
also a great deal of credit with Mr Cophagus, to whom Mr Brookes had
made known my diligence and thirst for knowledge.
"Good--very good," said Mr Cophagus; "fine boy--learns his
business--M.D. one of these days--ride in his coach--um, and so on."
Nevertheless, at my second attempt, I made an awkward mistake, which
very nearly led to detection. An Irish labourer, more than half tipsy,
came in one evening, and asked whether we had such a thing as was called
"_A poor man's plaister_. By the powers, it will be a poor man's
plaister when it belongs to me; but they tell me that it is a sure and
sartain cure for the thumbago, as they call it, which I've at the small
of my back, and which is a hinder to my mounting up the ladder; so as
it's Saturday night, and I've just got the money, I'll buy the plaister
first, and then try what a little whiskey inside will do, the devil's in
it if it won't be driven out of me between the two."
We had not that plaister in the shop, but we had blister plaister, and
Timothy, handing one to me, I proffered it to him. "And what may you be
after asking for this same?" inquired he.
The blister plaisters were sold at a shilling each, when spread on
paper, so I asked him eighteen-pence, that we might pocket the extra
sixpence.
"By the powers, one would think that you had made a mistake, and handed
me the rich man's plaister, instead of the poor one's. It's less whiskey
I'll have to drink, anyhow; but here's the money, and the top of the
morning to ye, seeing as how it's jist getting late."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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