Love stories; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction; Women household employees -- Fiction
forces of convention that he realized he might be mistaken as to the
value of his personality, that his private desires and opinions were as
nothing in the face of a public conviction; that he was wrong. The race
spirit, or social avatar, the “Zeitgeist” as the Germans term it,
manifested itself as something having a system in charge, and the
organization of society began to show itself to him as something based
on possibly a spiritual, or, at least, superhuman counterpart. He could
not fly in the face of it. He could not deliberately ignore its
mandates. The people of his time believed that some particular form of
social arrangement was necessary, and unless he complied with that he
could, as he saw, readily become a social outcast. His own father and
mother had turned on him—his brother and sisters, society, his friends.
Dear heaven, what a to-do this action of his had created! Why, even the
fates seemed adverse. His real estate venture was one of the most
fortuitously unlucky things he had ever heard of. Why? Were the gods
battling on the side of a to him unimportant social arrangement?
Apparently. Anyhow, he had been compelled to quit, and here he was,
vigorous, determined, somewhat battered by the experience, but still
forceful and worth while.
And it was a part of the penalty that he had become measurably soured
by what had occurred. He was feeling that he had been compelled to do
the first ugly, brutal thing of his life. Jennie deserved better of
him. It was a shame to forsake her after all the devotion she had
manifested. Truly she had played a finer part than he. Worst of all,
his deed could not be excused on the grounds of necessity. He could
have lived on ten thousand a year; he could have done without the
million and more which was now his. He could have done without the
society, the pleasures of which had always been a lure. He could have,
but he had not, and he had complicated it all with the thought of
another woman.
Was she as good as Jennie? That was a question which always rose before
him. Was she as kindly? Wasn’t she deliberately scheming under his very
eyes to win him away from the woman who was as good as his wife? Was
that admirable? Was it the thing a truly big woman would do? Was she
good enough for him after all? Ought he to marry her? Ought he to marry
any one seeing that he really owed a spiritual if not a legal
allegiance to Jennie? Was it worth while for any woman to marry him?
These things turned in his brain. They haunted him. He could not shut
out the fact that he was doing a cruel and unlovely thing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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