Adultery -- Fiction; Artists -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
Gert nodded assent. They were sitting on the sofa close together, Jenny’s
head resting on his shoulder, so that she could not see his face.
“I was in the country this morning, walking where we used to go together.
Let us go there again soon—the day after tomorrow if it is fine—will you?
You are sorry because I have to go home so early today, are you not?”
“My dear, have I not said that thousands of times already?” She could
hear from his voice that he was saying this with his melancholy smile
again. “I am grateful for every second of your life that you give me.”
“Don’t speak like that, Gert,” she said, pained.
“Why should I not say it when it is true? Dearest little girl, do you
think I will ever forget that all you have given me is as a princely
grace, and I can never understand how you came to give it to me at all?”
“When I realized last winter that you were fond of me—how much you really
loved me—I said to myself it must stop. But then I understood that I
could not be without you, and so I gave myself to you. Was that a grace?
When I could not let you go?”
“I call it an inconceivable grace that you ever came to love me.”
She nestled in his arms without speaking.
“My own darling ... so young and sweet you are....”
“I am not young, Gert. When you met me I was already beginning to get
old without ever having been young. You seemed young to me, much younger
at heart than I, because you still believed in what I called childish
dreams and used to laugh at them. You have made me believe in love and
tenderness and all such things.”
Gert Gram smiled, and whispered: “Perhaps my heart was not older than
yours—for it seemed to me that I had never yet had any youth, and deep
down in my soul I still entertained the hope that some day youth would
touch me, if only for once, with his wand. But my hair has turned white
meanwhile.”
Jenny raised her head and laid her hand caressingly on his head.
“Are you tired, little one? Shall I take off your shoes? Will you not lie
down and rest?”
“No, let me stay as I am; it is nicer so.”
She drew her feet up under her and nestled closer in his lap. He laid one
arm about her, and with the other hand he poured out some wine, holding
the glass to her lips. She drank readily. He dropped cherries into her
mouth and took the stones from her lips, putting them on the plate.
“More wine?”
“Thanks. I think I will stay with you. I can send a message home to say
I have met Heggen—I believe he is in town—but I must go home before the
trams stop.”
“I’ll go and see about it now.” He let her down gently on the sofa. “Lie
still there and rest, little one.”
When he was gone she took off her shoes, drank some more wine, and lay
down on the sofa with her head deep in the cushions, pulling a rug over
herself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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