Adultery -- Fiction; Artists -- Fiction; Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Painters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
He bent his head in tears. She put her arms round him.
“Helge—my own darling boy.”
He raised his head and pushed her gently away from him: “Jenny, that
time in Rome I could have made you mine—you wanted it yourself, for you
believed that we could only find happiness in a life together. I was
not so sure, I suppose, as I did not risk it. But here at home I have
been wanting you more than ever. I wanted you to be mine entirely, for I
was afraid of losing you, but I saw you were frightened every time you
understood that I was longing for you.”
She looked at him in awe. Yes, he was right—she had not wished to admit
it, but it was so.
“If I asked you now—this moment—would you consent?”
Jenny moved her lips; then came a quick and firm “Yes.”
Helge smiled sadly, kissing her hand: “Gladly, because you wish to be
mine? Because you cannot conceive of any happiness unless you are mine
and I am yours? Not only because you want to be kind to me or don’t want
to break your word—tell me the truth.”
She threw herself down on his knee and sobbed: “Let me go away for a
time. I want to go up in the mountains. I must recover myself. I want to
be _your_ Jenny, as I was in Rome. I _do_ want it, Helge, but I am so
confused now. When I am myself again I will write you to come, and I will
be your own Jenny again—yours only.”
“I am my mother’s son,” said Helge quietly. “We have got estranged from
one another. Will you not convince me that I am everything in the world
to you, the only man, more than anything else?—more than your work and
your friends, to whom I felt you belonged more than to me—just as you
feel a stranger among the people I belong to.”
“I did not feel a stranger towards your father.”
“No, but my father and I are strangers to one another. There is one
interest—your work—which I cannot share with you completely, and I know
now that I should be jealous of it. You see, I am her son. If I am not
convinced that I am everything in the world to you, I cannot help being
jealous—anxiously fearing that some day there might come another whom you
could love more, who could understand you better. I am jealous by nature.”
“You must not be jealous, or everything will go to pieces. I cannot bear
to be distrusted. I would rather you deceived me than doubted me—I could
better forgive you that.”
“I could not”—with a bitter smile.
Jenny stroked the hair from his forehead and dried his eyes.
“We love one another, don’t we, Helge? When we get away from all this and
we both wish everything to be well and right, don’t you think we can make
one another happy?”
“I have seen too much. I dare not trust my good intentions or yours.
Others have built their hopes on this and failed—I have seen what a hell
two people can make life for each other. You will have to give me an
answer to what I asked you. Do you love me? Do you wish to be mine—as you
did in Rome? Do you wish it more than anything else in the world?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account