Then when he thought of his mother all alone and the house so quiet
around her and no one able to go to her he felt so miserable that he
turned round from his village and stared desolately into the
fireplace. The thought of his new sister came to him, but was dismissed
impatiently. He did not want a new sister--Mary and Helen were trouble
enough as it was--and he felt, with an old weary air, that it was time,
indeed, that he was off to school. Nothing was the same. Always new
people. Never any peace.
He was startled by the sound of the opening door, and, turning, saw his
father. His father and he were never very easy together. Mr. Cole had
very little time for the individual, being engaged in saving souls in
the mass, and his cheery, good-tempered Christianity had a strange,
startling fashion of proving unavailing before some single human case.
He did not understand children except when they were placed in masses
before him. His own children, having been named, on their arrival,
“Gifts from God,” had kept much of that incorporeal atmosphere
throughout their growing years.
But to-night he was a different man. As he looked at his small son
across the schoolroom floor there was terror in his eyes. Nothing could
have been easier or more simple than his lifelong assumption that,
because God was in His heaven all was right with the world. He had given
thanks every evening for the blessings that he had received and every
morning for the blessings that he was going to receive, and he had had
no reason to complain. He had the wife, the children, the work that he
deserved, and his life had been so hemmed in with security that he
had had no difficulty in assuring his congregation on every possible
occasion that God was good and far-seeing, and that “not one sparrow...”
And now lie was threatened--threatened most desperately. Mrs. Cole was
so ill that it was doubtful whether she would live through the night. He
was completely helpless. He had turned from one side to another, simply
demanding an assurance from someone or something that she could not be
taken from him. No one could give him that assurance. Life without her
would be impossible; he would not know what to do about the simplest
matter. Life without her...oh! but it was incredible!
Like a blind man he had groped his way up to the schoolroom. He did not
want to see the children, nor Miss Jones, but he must be moving, must
be doing something that would break in upon that terrible ominous pause
that the whole world seemed to him, at this moment, to be making.
Then he saw Jeremy. He said:
“Oh! Where's Miss Jones?”
“She's in the next room,” said Jeremy, looking at his father.
“Oh!” He began to walk up and down the schoolroom. Jeremy left his toy
village and stood up.
“Is Mother better, Father?”
He stopped in his walk and looked at the boy as though he were trying to
recollect who he was.
“No... No--that is--No, my boy, I'm afraid not.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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