Jeremy and Hamlet: A Chronicle of Certain Incidents in the Lives of a Boy, a Dog, and a Country TownWalpole, Hugh
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Jeremy and Hamlet: A Chronicle of Certain Incidents in the Lives of a Boy, a Dog, and a Country Town
Walpole, Hugh
Boys -- Fiction; Dogs -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Before twenty-four hours had passed Uncle Percy had made his mark not
only upon his own family, but upon Polchester. One walk up the High
Street and everyone was asking who was that “big, red-faced man”? But it
was not only that he was big and red-faced; he moved with such complete
assurance. He was more like our Archdeacon Brandon (although, of course,
not nearly so handsome) than anyone who had been to our town for years.
He had just the archdeacon’s confidence; it would have been interesting
to watch the two men together.
He took charge of the Cole family in simply no time at all. For one
thing he smoked all over the house. Uncle Samuel had been hitherto the
only smoker in the family household, and it was understood that he
smoked only in his studio. But Uncle Percy smoked everywhere—and
cigars—and big black terribly-smelling cigars too! He appeared on the
very first morning, just as the bell rang for breakfast, clad only in a
dressing-gown with a great deal of red chest exposed, and thus
confronted Aunt Amy on the way to dining-room prayer. He arrived for
breakfast an hour late and ordered fresh tea. He sat in his brother’s
study most of the morning, talking and smoking. He forced his way into
Uncle Samuel’s studio and laughed at his pictures. (Of course, Uncle
Samuel was in London.)
“Call them pictures?” he cried all through luncheon. “Those daubs of
paint? Why, I could do better myself if I shut my eyes and splashed
coloured ink on the canvas. And I know something about painting, mind
you. Wasn’t a bad hand myself at it once. Gave it up because I hadn’t
time to waste! Call _them_ pictures!”
For this Aunt Amy almost forgave him his naked chest.
“It’s what I’ve always said,” she remarked, “only no one would listen to
me. Samuel’s pictures are folly, folly!”
During the first day both Hamlet and Jeremy were fascinated. Hamlet
recovered from his first fit of horror, smelt something in the stockings
and knickerbockers in which Uncle Percy now appeared that fascinated
him. He followed those stockings all round the house, his nose just a
little ahead of his body, and he had to move quickly because Uncle Percy
was never still for a moment. Uncle Percy, of course, laughed at Hamlet.
“Call that a dog!” he cried. “I call it a dog-fight!” and laughed
immoderately.
But Hamlet bore him no grudge; with his beard projecting and his eyes
intent on the pursuit, he followed the stockings. Such a smell! and such
calves! Both smell and calves were new in his experience—to lick the
one and bite the other! What a glorious ambition!
Jeremy, on his part, was at the beginning dazzled. He had never before
seen such superb despotism! For those twenty-four hours he admired it
all immensely—the unceasing flow of words, the knowledge of every
imaginable quarter of the globe, the confident, unfaltering answer to
every possible question, the definite assumption of universal
superiority, the absence of every doubt, hesitation or shyness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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