"Of course at the trial I tried to help her as much as I could. I
told the judge that I was entirely to blame, as I took the girl
against her will. I also said that I considered her so innocent of
any wrong that I would marry her then and there, if she could only
think better of me. I said that so the judge would give her a
lighter sentence. Although I've had two letters from her, there's
nothing in them to show any changed feeling toward me. So you see,
father, I'm not obliged to marry her because of that speech.'
"Father sits and ponders, but he doesn't speak.
"'I know that this is simply looking at the thing from the
viewpoint of men, and we Ingmars have always wanted to stand well
in the sight of God. And yet sometimes I think that maybe our Lord
wouldn't like it if we honoured a murderess.'
"And father doesn't utter a sound.
"'Think, father, how one must feel who lets another suffer without
giving a helping hand. I have passed through too much these last
few years not to try to do something for her when she gets out.
"Father sits there immovable.
"Now I can hardly keep back the tears. 'You see, father, I'm a
young man and will lose much if I marry her. Every one seems to
think I've already made a mess of my life; they will think still
worse of me after this!'
"But I can't make father say a word.
"'I have often wondered why it is that we Ingmars have been allowed
to remain on our farm for hundreds of years, while the other farms
have all changed hands. And the thought comes to me that it may be
because the Ingmars have always tried to walk in the ways of God.
We Ingmars need not fear man; we have only to walk in God's ways.'
"Then the old man looks up and says: 'This is a difficult problem,
my son. I guess I'll go in and talk it over with the other Ingmarssons.'
"So father goes back to the living-room, while I remain in the
kitchen. There I sit waiting and waiting, but father does not
return. Then, after hours and hours of this, I get cross and go to
him. 'You must have patience, little Ingmar,' says father. 'This is
a difficult question.' And I see all the old yeomen sitting there
with closed eyes, deep in thought. So I wait and wait and, for
aught I know, must go on waiting."
Smiling, he followed the plow, which was now moving along very
slowly, as if the horses were tired out and could scarcely drag it.
When he came to the end of the furrow he pulled up the plow and
rested. He had become very serious.
"Strange, when you ask anyone's advice you see yourself what is
right. Even while you are asking, you discover all at once what you
hadn't been able to find out in three whole years. Now it shall be
as God wills."
He felt that this thing must be done, but at the same time it
seemed so hard to him that the mere thought of it took away his
courage. "Help me, Lord!" he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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