What a bungler I was, and how long it took me to remove the piece of
simple ribbon, need not here be described. I know that while my
trembling fingers were about her neck, Jessie, in reply to a look,
said, 'Yes, you may, Chris;' and that I kissed her.
'And now, Chris,' she said, 'I want to speak to you about something
that is troubling me very much. When you said the other night that
uncle Bryan was an atheist, were you in earnest?'
'I said what I believed,' I answered with an uneasy feeling.
'And he _is_ an atheist?'
'I am afraid he is, Jessie.'
'Has he ever told you so?'
'Oh, no; there are some things that one scarcely dares to speak of.'
'That is if one is weak and a coward. I am not that, and I don't think
you are, Chris. Then I suppose you have never spoken to uncle Bryan
about religion?'
'Not a word has ever passed between us upon religious matters.'
'An atheist is a person who does not believe in God, is he not,
Chris?'
I was sensible that the discussion of so solemn a subject might lead
to grave results, and I wished to discontinue it; but Jessie said:
'Don't be weak, Chris; I think I ought to know these things, and if we
can't speak together in confidence, no two persons in the world can.
Of course I can easily find out what I want to know; Gus West will
tell me everything; but I came to you because we are nearer to each
other.'
'Nearer and dearer, Jessie.'
'Yes, Chris; and now tell me what you know.'
I told her all that I knew concerning atheism, and all that I knew
concerning uncle Bryan in connection with it. 'When I was a boy,
Jessie, scarcely a week after we came to live with uncle Bryan, I
heard him say that life was tasteless to him, and that he believed in
nothing. I thought of it often afterwards.'
'Life was tasteless to him _because_ he did not believe in anything;
that is the proper view to take of it. If a person does not believe in
anything, he cannot love anything. Can you imagine anything more
dreary than the life of a person who does not love anybody, and who
has nobody to love him? I can't. A person might as well be a stick or
a stone--better to be that, for then he couldn't feel. But the words
that uncle Bryan used may not have meant what you suppose, Chris.'
'They came in this way, Jessie. On the first Sunday we were here,
mother asked uncle Bryan if he was going to church. He said that he
never went to church. Mother was very sorry, I saw, but she did not
say anything more. On that same night, uncle Bryan was reading a book,
and he read aloud some passages from it. Mother asked him what was the
name of the book, and he answered, _The Age of Reason_. When he laid
the book aside, mother took it up, and looked at it; and then she sent
me upstairs for the Bible. That was all; but I didn't quite know what
was the real meaning of it until a long time afterwards, when I found
out what kind of a book _The Age of Reason_ is.'
'Tell me what it is.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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