marry the man you love, I would willingly lay down my life; but it
cannot be done. The only and best reparation I can offer is to
promise, as I do now most faithfully, to wipe you out of my heart,
so that you may be free from me for ever.' How fair those words
sound--how self-sacrificing--how manly! What a noble nature do they
display! Would it be believed that while this letter was on its way to
the wife whom he was about to desert--to the wife whom he had most
cruelly wronged, and most shamefully betrayed--the man who wrote it
was entering the house where the woman lived who had been his
companion in former years? The next morning you left. Two days
afterwards, the woman followed you to London.
Is anything more wanted to complete the shameful story? Had I brought
disgrace upon you, or had you brought it upon me? A noble reparation,
indeed, did you make to me!
You may ask how it was that I discovered your visit to the woman. My
father and my cousin saw you coming from the house, where doubtless
you had completed all your arrangements, and left your final
instructions. My cousin it was who told me. 'Now,' he said, 'do you
believe that he is false?' 'Yes,' I answered; 'I am convinced of it'
What followed? Remember it is your dead wife who is speaking to you,
and do not dare, for your soul's sake, to add to your cruelty by
doubting what she says. My cousin Ralph then began to speak again of
his own selfish passion, and I bade him never to presume to address me
again. From that day I never saw him; some little while afterwards my
father told me he had gone abroad, but we never heard from him.
We remained--my father and I--for a few weeks after your departure,
and then my father's health suddenly broke down. In one thing you had
most completely succeeded; you had blackened my name as well as your
own. Innocent as I was, wronged as I was, I think no one in my native
place pitied me. Persons who had once respected me avoided me, or
slighted me. Day by day the torture of living in this atmosphere of
injustice grew until it was unbearable; and when my father broke down,
I took him with me into a strange place, where neither of us was
known, and where I hoped by carefully husbanding our small means, and
by employing some hours of the day in needlework, to be enabled to
live quietly, if not in peace. There was another reason why I was
anxious to leave--a reason which you will now learn for a certainty
for the first time. I was about to become a mother.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account