this time that I found myself standing before one of those exceedingly small offices which squeeze themselves by the force of impudence and ingenuity into the very midst of really pretentious buildings which frown them down, but cannot take the impudence out of them. In the front of this office was a large black board, on which were wafered, in the neatest of round-hand, the most amazing temptations to persons in search of situations. The first temptation which assailed me was, 'Wanted a Gardener for a Gentleman's Family. Must have an Unexceptionable Moral Character. Apply within.' The doubt I had with reference to this announcement was not whether I would do for a gardener (this was during my reckless days, remember), but whether my moral character was unexceptionable. I had never before been called to answer a declaration of this description, and now that it was put to me in bold round-hand, I was stung by the share I took in the lawless sugar expeditions. Not being able to resolve the doubt as to my moral character (although sorely tempted by the exigences of my position to give myself the benefit of it), I laid aside the gardener for future consideration. The next temptation was, 'Wanted a Cook. High Church.' I discarded the cook. Reckless as I was, it exceeded the limits of my boldness to declare myself a High-Church Cook. I was not even aware that I had ever tasted food cooked in that way; the very flavour was a mystery to me. The next was, 'Wanted a Groom, Smart and Active. Seven Stone. Apply within.' I debated for some time over seven stone before I decided that it must apply to the weight of the groom. A stone was fourteen pounds. Seven fourteens was ninety-eight (I did the sum on a dead wall with a bit of brick I picked up in the road.) That I was perfectly ignorant of the duties of a groom did not affect me in the slightest degree; my only trouble was, did I weigh ninety-eight pounds? I immediately resolved to ascertain. I strolled into a by-street, and discovering a mysterious-looking recess wherein was exhibited a small pile of coals and a large pair of scales to weigh them in, I considered it a likely place to solve the problem. I had two halfpennies in my pocket, and I thought I might bargain to be weighed for one of them. So I walked into the recess, and tapping upon the scales with a halfpenny, as a proof that I meant business, waited for the result. The result came in the shape of a waddling woman with a coaly face and an immense bonnet, who said, 'Now then?' Timidly I replied, 'I want to be weighed, ma'am; I'll give you a halfpenny.' I was not prepared for the suddenness of what immediately followed. Without the slightest warning the woman lifted me in her arms with great ease, and laid me across the scales, which were shaped like a scuttle, with great difficulty, although I tried honestly to suit myself to the peculiarity of the case. Presently she threw me off as