It was, of course, the cry of the coward--the despairing cry of the man
who, having failed, shifts the blame on Fate, and cries out what might
have been, had everything been different! But of course she did not know
that; her young heart warmed to him at that blessed thought that she
might have helped him--that she might even help him now. She was
lonely--as he was; her life seemed to have gone down into the
shadows--as his had done. She looked at him with shining eyes.
"Oh, it isn't too late, Charlie; you're young, and you can fight the
world easily enough. All your energy will come back. You must fight."
"Not alone, dear." He said it then, as he said most things, on the
impulse of the moment; perhaps because her eyes were shining as they
looked into his; perhaps because her mouth was soft and tender as it
pleaded with him. He dropped the hands upon her shoulders to her elbows,
and drew her towards him. "Not alone, Moira; I haven't the strength."
"But how could I help you?" she whispered.
"As only a woman can help a man," he went on more eagerly, pleased with
the sudden idea that had come to him, and almost feeling that it had
been in his mind for a long time. "I love you, Moira; with you beside me
I can fight such a battle as never man fought yet. You shall help me;
we'll fight together."
"But, Charlie"--her hands were on his breast, and she was holding him
away for a moment--"we are so poor, both of us--so young. After all,
although I want to help you--why should I add to your burden? How should
we live?"
"Oh, the old parrot cry of living!" he exclaimed, getting his arms about
her, and drawing her towards him. "Look here, my dear; the world has
behaved pretty roughly to both of us; to me most of all. I've been a bit
wild, I know; but no one has properly understood me yet. I can do big
things; I can do anything; but I want steadying. Besides--I've always
loved you, you know; didn't I hunt for you in London, directly I knew
you were here? Say you love me, dear."
"Of course--of course I love you, Charlie," she faltered. "At least, I
think----"
"Oh, never mind what you think," he exclaimed impetuously. "The words
are enough--you've said you love me. Kiss me; I'll be awfully good to
you--and you'll find you've made a new man of me. Don't look so
frightened; I've been meaning to say this to you for a long time."
Her lips met his, but with no ardour in the touch; she seemed to be
thinking. He kissed her again, and strove to look into her eyes; and
asked a little roughly what was the matter. She looked up into his face;
perhaps she strove to read there some fulfilment of the dreams that had
been hers during these past few years; perhaps she remembered, in that
hour, certain words of Old Paul's--spoken a long, long time ago; they
seemed to rise like an echo in her heart now. "What will love do to you
in the big world, Moira?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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