Jimmy had been dressed three hours before it was absolutely necessary
that he should be at the theatre, and then had wandered about his rooms,
tortured by doubts and fears; wondering if by chance it would not have
been better to have altered this line at the last, or to have extended
that phrase, so as to convey the meaning better. Suppose, after all, the
theatre took fire--now, when people were gathering at its very doors;
suppose the iron curtain refused to go up (such things had been known to
happen); or suppose Bennett Godsby, in the very hour of his triumph,
dropped dead from sheer excitement. Would there be a call for the
author, and should Jimmy go on, in that case? Nay, more--would he be
permitted to go on? That was the more vital question, because Bennett
Godsby had to be reckoned with in such a matter.
He went down to the theatre at last, to find the man at the stage door,
who always sat in the company of the gas stove and the very old dog,
rising to his feet to wish him good luck; Jimmy blushed to think that he
had not sufficient in his pocket for a tip. Also, there were telegrams;
one in particular from Alice, which he thrust into an inner pocket. Then
he went down on to the stage and looked about him.
Actually there was a man there--a property man, or some other debased
character--lounging on a settee, and whistling! It did not seem to occur
to him that so much depended on this night; if anything, the debased one
looked a trifle bored. Jimmy trembled at the thought that in the hands
of such people as this rested perhaps the fate of the play; for,
according to Bennett Godsby, the wrong coloured carpet put down on the
stage, or a chair six inches too much to the left, had ruined the fate
of the finest ere this. Thinking that, Jimmy went in search of Bennett
Godsby, with the object of cheering him.
He found him in his dressing-room, opening letters and telegrams, and
apparently not in the least anxious. The great man looked round at Jimmy
as he entered and nodded.
"I've got a ghastly feeling come over me, Larrance," he said--"a
horrible feeling that I shan't do myself justice to-night. It's the
life, I suppose; it's telling on me a bit. Every blessed thing seems to
have gone out of my head. I know I look calm," he added, as if in reply
to Jimmy's deprecatory smile, "but that's only manner. I've got to that
pitch that I simply don't care what happens--I don't indeed. It may suit
the part better, in a way--and it may not. Here--take this coat!"
He turned to the dresser, and began to prepare for the evening's work.
Jimmy, with a dull feeling that all was over with him, and that he
wished someone would stop the band then tuning up in the distance,
turned to go. Mr. Bennett Godsby called him back.
"By the way--you'll be somewhere about, I suppose?" he said.
"Oh, yes; I shall be somewhere about," replied Jimmy, and went out into
the streets again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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