"No, Jimmy," she said at last; and he thought he had never heard her
speak in so quietly determined a voice before. "When you kept faith with
Charlie, and saved me and the child from shame, I asked nothing of
you--not even money--nothing but just the name the world demands. You
gave me that; I have blessed you on my knees many and many a time; but I
want nothing more. I helped you a little, perhaps, as I might have
helped any other dear friend; but I will not go even to your arms,
Jimmy, for pity. You do not love me; the thing would be a mockery. We
can at least keep our self-respect, each of us; in the years that are
coming we can look at each other with friendly eyes, and live our own
lives--apart. I speak with no bitterness, Jimmy dear! in my heart I am
very, very grateful. But I will live with my child alone."
"Of course I understand that anyone of so strong a nature as you must
find it hard to forget the--the other man--the man who should have been
your husband," he said. He waited for a moment, as though expecting her
to reply; but she said nothing. "At the same time," he went on, "I am
bound to say that I think you are wrong. For your own sake, and for the
sake of the child, you ought to establish yourself properly. If I'm
ready to give up all sorts of dreams and things, surely you should be
willing to meet me half way."
She shook her head, although she smiled at him. "We will not discuss it,
Jimmy; my mind is firmly made up," she replied.
He let her go, with something more of tenderness in his farewell than he
had ever shown before. He was disappointed, chiefly, perhaps, because he
felt that she had not shown a proper gratitude; he felt that in all
probability she would presently find that, for her own sake as well as
that of the child, it might be expedient for her to adopt his very
sensible suggestion.
For Jimmy had not yet learnt his lesson; still felt, in fact, even
without confessing it in so many words, that he had conferred a great
and singular favour upon the woman to whom he had given his name; he was
pained somewhat that she should not recognise how great that favour had
been; should not be more at his feet.
The coming of Anthony Ditchburn to him again (for although Jimmy, in
this better time, had moved again into fresh quarters, Anthony had
contrived to trace him) brought about a reminder of that stolen packet
of letters that had been flung so contemptuously into a corner. Mr.
Ditchburn could not understand yet why nothing substantial had come of
that carefully planned piece of business; the money he had had was gone;
and he went again with large hopes. But Jimmy was curt with him, and
dismissed him somewhat summarily. True, he gave him some money; and
Anthony, before leaving, jogged his memory as to the letters.
"She meant them for you, my dear young friend; they may contain
something of the utmost importance. It seems such a pity that two young
and loving hearts--beating naturally towards each other----."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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