But with all this she never failed to practise a certain amount of
circumspection. In one respect, she refrained from growing too
confidential about herself. That she had been the leading woman with
"The Lie" was something to brag about: the very cards which she had been
quick to have printed proclaimed the fact loudly in imitation Old
English engraving. But that she had been wife to its star was something
which she was not long in discovering wasn't generally known. The
success of the sketch was a by-word of envy among actors facing the
prospect of an idle summer; and the route columns of _Variety_ told her
that, in line with her prediction, Quard had somehow surmounted his San
Francisco predicament and was continuing to guide the little play upon
its triumphal course. But Quard himself had always been too closely
identified with stock companies of the second class to have many friends
among those with whom his wife was now thrown: actors for the most part
of the so-called legitimate stage, with scant knowledge or experience
(little, at least, that they would own to) of theatrical conditions away
from Broadway and the leading theatres of a few principal cities. So
Joan kept her own counsel about her matrimonial adventure: its
publication could do her no good, if possibly no harm; and she preferred
the freedom of ostensible spinsterhood. Her wedding-ring had long since
disappeared from her hand, giving place to the handsome diamond with
which Matthias had pledged her his faith.
Furthermore, such dissipation as she indulged in was never permitted to
carry her beyond the border-line which, in her understanding, limited
discretion in her relations with men. She enjoyed leading them on, but
marriage had made her too completely cognizant of herself to permit of
any affair going beyond a certain clearly defined point: she couldn't
afford to throw herself away. And more than once she checked sharply and
left an undrained glass, warned by her throbbing pulses that she was
responding a trace too ardently to the admiration in the eyes of some
male companion of the evening.
But there were only two whom she held dangerous to her peace of mind,
one because she was afraid of him, the other because she admired him
against her will.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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