"When you fall in love, you can take a stout yeoman with a bit of money,
if you can't find a real gentleman same as I did. Howsumever, you're too
young to go meddling with such things just yet. You be a good girl,
Ellen Godden, and keep your back straight, and don't let the boys kiss
you."
Ellen had no particular pleasure in letting the boys kiss her--she was a
cold-blooded little thing--but, she asked herself, what else was there
to do in a desert like Walland Marsh? The Marsh mocked her every morning
as she looked out of her window at the flat miles between Ansdore and
Dunge Ness. This was her home--this wilderness of straight dykes and
crooked roads, every mile of which was a repetition of the mile before
it. There was never any change in that landscape, except such as came
from the sky--cloud-shadows shaking like swift wings across the swamp of
buttercups and sunshine, mists lying in strange islands by the sewers,
rain turning all things grey, and the wind as it were made visible in a
queer flying look put on by the pastures when the storms came groaning
inland from Rye Bay ... with a great wail of wind and slash of rain and
a howl and shudder through all the house.
She found those months of spring and summer very dreary. She disliked
the ways of Ansdore; she met no one but common and vulgar people, who
took it for granted that she was just one of themselves. Of course she
had lived through more or less the same experiences during her holidays,
but then the contact had not been so close or so prolonged, and there
had always been the prospect of school to sustain her.
But now schooldays were over, and seemed very far away. Ellen felt cut
off from the life and interests of those happy years. She had hoped to
receive invitations to go and stay with the friends she had made at
school; but months went by and none came. Her school-friends were being
absorbed by a life very different from her own, and she was sensitive
enough to realize that parents who had not minded her associating with
their daughters while they were still at school, would not care for
their grown-up lives to be linked together. At first letters were
eagerly written and constantly received, but in time even this comfort
failed, as ways became still further divided, and Ellen found herself
faced with the alternative of complete isolation or such friendships as
she could make on the Marsh.
She chose the latter. Though she would have preferred the humblest seat
in a drawing-room to the place of honour in a farm-house kitchen, she
found a certain pleasure in impressing the rude inhabitants of Brodnyx
and Pedlinge with her breeding and taste. She accepted invitations to
"drop in after church," or to take tea, and scratched up rather
uncertain friendships with the sisters of the boys who admired her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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