He had not been gone an hour, but she must find him. She must be with
him--just feel him near her. She must see his head against the window,
hear the heavy, slow sounds of his moving. She slipped on her clothes
and twisted up her hair, and went down into the empty, stir-less house.
No one was about--even her own people were in bed. The sun was not yet
up, but the white dawn was pouring into the house, through the windows,
through the chinks. Joanna stood in the midst of it. Then she opened the
door and went out into the yard, which was a pool of cold light, ringed
round with barns and buildings and reed-thatched haystacks. It was queer
how this cold, still, trembling dawn hurt her--seemed to flow into her,
to be part of herself, and yet to wound.... She had never felt like this
before--she could never have imagined that love would make her feel like
this, would make her see beauty in her forsaken yard at dawn--not only
see but feel that beauty, physically, as pain. Her heart wounded
her--her knees were failing--she went back into the house.
A wooden chair stood in the passage outside the kitchen door, and she
sat down on it. She was still unable to think, and she knew now that she
did not want to think--it might make her afraid. She wanted only to
remember.... He had called her the loveliest, sweetest, most beautiful
woman in the world.... She repeated his words over and over again,
calling up the look with which he had said them ... oh, those eyes of
his--slanty, saucy, secret, loving eyes....
She wondered why he did not come down. She could not imagine that he had
turned into bed and gone to sleep--that he did not know she was sitting
here waiting for him in the dawn. For a moment she thought of going up
and knocking at his door--then she heard a thud of footsteps and
creaking of boards, which announced that Mene Tekel and Nan Gregory of
Windpumps were stirring in their bedroom. In an incredibly short time
they were coming downstairs, tying apron-strings and screwing up hair as
they went, and making a terrific stump past the door behind which they
imagined their mistress was in bed. It was a great shock to them to find
that she was downstairs before them--they weren't more than five minutes
late.
"Hurry up, gals," said Joanna, "and get that kettle boiling for the men.
I hear Broadhurst about the yard. Mene Tekel, see as there's no clinkers
left in the grate; Mrs. Alce never got her bath yesterday evening before
dinner as she expects it. When did you do the flues last?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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