84. A certain Lady at _Whitehall_, of great Quality but very little Modesty, having sent for a Linnen Draper to bring her some _Hollands_, as soon as the young Fellow enter'd the Room, O! Sir, said she, I find you're a Man fit for Business, for you no sooner look a Lady in the Face, but you've your _Yard_ in one Hand, and are lifting up the Linnen with the other. 85. A Country Farmer going cross his Grounds in the Dusk of the Evening, spy'd a young Fellow and a Lass, very busy near a five Bar Gate, in one of his Fields, and calling to them to know what they were about, said the young Man, no Harm, Farmer, we are only going to _Prop-a-Gate_. 86. King _Henry_ VIII. designing to send a _Nobleman_ on an Embassy to _Francis_ I. at a very dangerous Juncture, he begg'd to be excused, saying such a threatening Message, to so hot a Prince as _Francis_ I. might go near to cost him his Life. Fear not, said old _Harry_, if the _French_ King should offer to take away your Life, I would revenge you by taking off the _Heads_ of many _Frenchmen_ now in my Power: _But of all those Heads_, reply'd the Nobleman, _there may not be one to fit my Shoulders_. 87. A Parson preaching a tiresome Sermon on _Happiness_ or _Bliss_; when he had done, a Gentleman told him, he had forgot one Sort of Happiness: _Happy are they that did not hear your Sermon_. 88. A Country-Fellow who was just come to _London_, gaping about in every Shop he came to, at last looked into a Scrivener's, where seeing only one Man sitting at a Desk, he could not imagine what Commodity was sold there, but calling to the Clerk, pray, Sir, said he, what do you sell here? _Loggerheads_, cry'd the other, _do you_, answer'd the Countryman, _Egad then you've a special Trade, for I see you have but one left_. 89. _Manners_, who was himself but lately made Earl of _Rutland_, told Sir _Thomas Moor_, he was too much elated by his Preferment, that he verify'd the old Proverb, _Honores mutant Mores_. No, my Lord, said Sir _Thomas_, the _Pun_ will do much better in _English_: _Honours change_ MANNERS. 90. A Nobleman having chose a very illiterate Person for his Library Keeper, one said it was like _a Seraglio kept by an Eunuch_. 91. A Mayor of _Yarmouth_, in ancient Times, being by his Office a Justice of the Peace, and one who was willing to dispense the Laws wisely, tho' he could hardly read, got him the Statute-Book, where finding a Law against _firing a Beacon_, or causing any _Beacon_ to be fired, after nine of the Clock at Night, the poor Man read it _frying of Bacon, or causing any Bacon to be fryed_; and accordingly went out the next Night upon the _Scent_, and being directed by his _Nose_, to the Carrier's House, he found the Man and his Wife both _frying of Bacon_, the Husband holding the Pan while the Wife turned it: Being thus caught in the Fact, and having nothing to say for themselves, his Worship committed them both to Jail, without Bail or Mainprize.