200. It was an usual saying of King _Charles_ II. _That Sailors get their Money like Horses, and spent it like Asses_; the following Story is somewhat an instance of it: One Sailor coming to see another on Pay-day, desired to borrow twenty Shillings of him; the money'd Man fell to telling out the Sum in Shillings, but a Half-Crown thrusting its Head in, put him out, and he began to tell again, but then an impertinent Crown-piece was as officious as it's half Brother had been, and again interrupted the Tale; so that taking up a Handful of Silver, he cry'd, _Here_, Jack, _give me a Handful when your Ship's paid, what a Pox signifies counting it_. 201. A Person enquiring what became of _such a One_? _Oh! dear_, says one of the Company, _poor fellow, he dy'd insolvent, and was buried by the Parish: Died in solvent_, crys another, _that's a Lie, for he died in_ England, _I'm sure I was at his Burying_. 202. A humorous Countryman having bought a Barn, in Partnership with a Neighbour of his, neglected to make the least Use of it, whilst the other had plentifully stor'd his Part with Corn and Hay: In a little Time the latter came to him, and conscientiousily expostulated with him upon laying out his Money so fruitlessly: _Pray Neighbour_, says he, _ne'er trouble your Head, you may do what you will with your Part of the Barn, but I'll set mine o' Fire_. 203. An _Irishman_ whom King _Charles_ II. had some Esteem for, being only an inferior Servant of the Household, one Day coming into the King's Presence, his Majesty ask'd him how his Wife did, who had just before been cut for a _Fistula_ in her Backside. _I humbly thank your Majesty_, replied Teague, _she's like to do well, but the Surgeon says, it will be an Eye-Sore as long as she lives_. 204. A young Gentlewoman who had married a very wild Spark, that had run through a plentiful Fortune, and was reduced to some Streights, was innocently saying to him one Day, _My Dear, I want some Shifts sadly_. _Shifts, Madam_, replies he, _D---- me, how can that be, when we make so many every Day?_ 205. A Fellow once standing in the Pillory at _Temple-Bar_, it occasioned a Stop, so that a Carman with a Load of Cheeses had much ado to pass, and driving just up to the Pillory, he asked what that was that was writ over the Person's Head: They told him, it was a Paper to signify his Crime, that he stood for _Forgery_: Ay, says he, what is _Forgery_? They answered him, that _Forgery_ was counterfeiting another's Hand, with Intent to cheat People: To which the Carman replied, looking up at the Offender, Ah, Pox! this comes of your Writing and Reading, you silly Dog.