838. Some time after Louis XIV. had collated the celebrated Bossuet to the bishopric of Meaux, he asked the citizens how they liked their new bishop. Why, your majesty, we like him pretty well. Pretty well! why what fault have you to find with him? To tell your majesty the truth, we should have preferred having a bishop who had finished his education; for whenever we wait upon him, we are told that he is at his studies. 839. A boy who did not return after the holidays to Winchester school, by the time the master had charged him to do, returned at last loaded with a fine ham, as a bribe. The master took the ham, and told him, that he might give his compliments to his mother for the ham, but assured him it should not save his bacon, and flogged him. 840. Previous to a late general election, two candidates for a northern county met in a ball-room. Why do you sit still? said a friend, to one of them, whilst your opponent is tripping it so assiduously with the electors’ wives and daughters? The aspirant for parliamentary fame replied, I have no objection to his dancing for the county, if I am allowed to sit for it. 841. An uninformed Irishman, hearing the Sphinx alluded to in company, whispered to a friend, Sphinx! who is he now? A monster-man. Oh, a Munster man! I thought he was from Connaught, replied the Irishman, determined not to seem totally unacquainted with the family. 842. An Irish gentleman, sojourning at Mitchner’s Hotel, Margate, felt much annoyed at the smallness of the bottles, considering the high price of the wine. One evening, taking his glass with a friend in the coffee-room, the pompous owner came in, when the gentleman, after apologizing to Mitchner, told him he and his friend had laid a wager, which he must decide, by telling him what profession he was bred to. Mitchner, after some hesitation at the question, answered that he was bred to the law. Then, said the gentleman, I have lost, for I laid that you was bred a packer. A packer, sir! said Mitchner, swelling like a turkey-cock, what could induce you, sir, to think I was bred a packer? Why, sir, said the other, I judged so from your wine measures, for I thought no man but a skilful packer could put a quart of wine into a pint bottle. 843. Lady Carteret, wife of the lord lieutenant of Ireland, in Swift’s time, said to him, The air of this country is good. For God’s sake, madam, said Swift, don’t say so in England: if you do they will certainly tax it. 844. King Charles II. was reputed a great connoisseur in naval architecture. Being once at Chatham, to view a ship just finished, on the stocks, he asked the famous Killigrew, if he did not think he should make an excellent shipwright? who pleasantly replied, He always thought his majesty would have done better at any other trade than his own. No favourable compliment, but as true a one, perhaps, as ever was paid.