845. One day Dean Swift observed a great rabble assembled before the deanery door, in Kevin Street, and upon inquiring into the cause of it, he was told they were waiting to see the eclipse. He immediately sent for the beadle and told him what he should do. Away ran Davy for his bell, and after ringing it some time among the crowd, bawled out―O yes, O yes? all manner of persons here concerned are desired to take notice, that it is the Dean of St. Patrick’s good will and pleasure, that the eclipse be put off till this time to-morrow! so God save the king and his reverence the dean. The mob upon this dispersed; only some Irish wit, more shrewd and cunning than the rest, said, with great self-complacency, that they would not lose another afternoon, for that the dean, who was a very comical man, might take it into his head to put off the eclipse again, and so make fools of them a second time. 846. Some school-boys meeting a poor woman driving asses, one of them said to her, Good morning, mother of asses! Good morning, my children, was the reply. 847. A clergyman being at the point of death, a neighbouring brother, who had some interest with his patron, applied to him for the next presentation; upon which the former, who soon recovered, upbraided him with a breach of friendship, and said he wanted his death. No, no, doctor, said the other, you quite mistake: it was your living I wanted. 848. A gentleman in company complaining that he was very subject to catch cold in his feet, another, not over-loaded with sense, told him that might easily be prevented, if he would follow his directions. I always get, said he, a thin piece of lead out of an India chest, and fit it to my shoe for this purpose. Then, sir, said the former, you are like a rope-dancer’s pole, you have lead at both ends. 849. The late Duchess of Kingston, who was remarkable for having a very high sense of her own dignity, being one day detained in her carriage by a cart of coals that was unloading in the street, she leaned with both her arms upon the door, and asked the fellow, How dare you, sirrah, stop a woman of quality in the street? Woman of quality! replied the man. Yes, fellow, rejoined her grace, don’t you see my arms upon my carriage? Yes, I do, indeed, said he, and a pair of plaguy coarse arms they are. 850. A worthy churchwarden of Canterbury lately excused himself, by note, from a dinner party, by alleging that he was engaged in taking the senses (census) of his parish. 851. On the day for renewing the licences of the publicans in the West Riding of Yorkshire, one of the magistrates said to an old woman who kept a little alehouse, that he trusted she did not put any pernicious ingredients into the liquor; to which she replied, There is nought pernicious put into our barrels but the exciseman’s stick.