1005. The Bishop of Ermeland lost a great portion of his revenues, in consequence of the occupation of part of Poland by the King of Prussia. Soon after this event, in the year 1773, he waited on his majesty at Potsdam; when the king asked him, if he could, after what had happened, still have any friendship for him? Sire! said the prelate, I shall never forget my duty, as a good subject, to my sovereign. I am, replied the king, still your very good friend, and likewise presume much on your friendship towards me; for, should St. Peter refuse my entrance into Paradise, I hope you will have the goodness to hide me under your mantle, and take me in along with you. Sire! returned the bishop, that will, I fear, scarcely be possible: your majesty has cut it too short to admit of my carrying any contraband goods beneath it. 1006. A gentle sprinkle of rain happening, a plough-boy left his work and went home; but his master seeing him there, told him that he should not have left his work for so trifling an affair, and begged for the future he would stay until it rained downright. A day or two afterwards proving a very rainy day, the boy stayed till dusk, and being almost drowned, his master asked him why he did not come home before? Why I should, said the boy, but you zed I shou’dn’t come home vore it rained downright; and it has not rained downright yet, for it was aslaunt all day long. 1007. A lady desired her butler to be saving of an excellent tun of small beer, and asked him how it might best be preserved. I know of no method so effectual, my lady, said the butler, as placing a barrel of good ale by it. 1008. A humorous fellow being subpœnaed as a witness on a trial for an assault, one of the counsel, who had been notorious for brow-beating witnesses, asked him what distance he was from the parties when the assault happened; he answered, Just four feet five inches and a half. How come you to be so very exact, fellow? said the counsel. Because I expected some fool or other would ask me, said he, and so I measured it. 1009. Francis I. of France, being told the people made very free with his character in their songs, answered, It would be hard indeed not to allow them a song for their money. 1010. An honest Hibernian, whose bank-pocket (to use his own phrase) had stopped payment, was forced to the sad necessity of perambulating the streets of Edinburgh two nights together for want of a few pence to pay his lodgings, when accidentally hearing a person talk of the Lying-in Hospital, he exclaimed, That’s the place for me! Where is it, honey? for I’ve been lying out these two nights past.