1024. Cardinal de Bernis, when only an Abbé, solicited Cardinal Fleury, then fourscore, for some preferment. Fleury told him fairly, he should never have anything in his time. Bernis replied, _Monseigneur, j’attendrai_ [My lord, I shall wait]. 1025. Mr. Suckling, a clergyman of Norfolk, having a quarrel with a neighbouring gentleman, who insulted him, and at last told him, his gown was his protection. The doctor replied, It may be mine, but it shall not be yours; and pulling it off, thrashed the aggressor. 1026. In some parish churches it was the custom to separate the men from the women. A clergyman, being interrupted by loud talking, stopped short, when a woman, eager for the honour of the sex, arose and said, Your reverence, it is not among us. So much the better, answered the priest; it will be over the sooner. 1027. The evening before a battle, an officer came to ask Marshal Toiras for permission to go and see his father, who was at the point of death. Go, said the general, who saw through the pretext; thou shalt honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the earth. 1028. A French gentleman, being married a second time, was often lamenting his first wife before his second, who one day, said to him, _Monsieur, je vous assure qu’il n’y a personne qui la regrette plus que moi_ [I assure you, sir, no one regrets her more than I do]. 1029. A methodist in America, bragging how well he had instructed some Indians in religion, called up one of them, and, after some questions, asked him if he had not found great comfort last Sunday, after receiving the sacrament. Ay, master, replied the savage, but I wished it had been brandy. 1030. Towards the close of the reign of George the Second, the beautiful Countess of Coventry talking to his majesty about shows, and thinking only of the figure she herself would make in a procession, told him, the sight she wished most to see was a coronation. 1031. William, Duke of Cumberland, gave promises of talents that were never accomplished. One day he had given some offence to his royal mother, and was remanded to the confinement of his chamber. After what the queen thought a sufficient duration of his punishment, she sent for him. He returned in a very sullen humour. What have you been doing? said the queen. Reading. What book? The New Testament. Very well: what part? Where it is said, Woman, why troublest thou me? 1032. A vicar and curate of a village, where there was to be a burial, were at variance. The vicar not coming in time, the curate began the service, and was reading the words, “I am the resurrection,” when the vicar arrived, almost out of breath, and, snatching the book out of the curate’s hands, with great scorn, cried, You the resurrection! “I am the resurrection”―and then went on.