539. In a village of Picardy, after a long sickness, a farmer’s wife fell into a lethargy. Her husband was willing, good man, to believe her out of pain; and so, according to the custom of that country, she was wrapped in a sheet, and carried out to be buried. But, as ill-luck would have it, the bearers carried her so near a hedge, that the thorns pierced the sheet, and waked the woman from her trance. Some years after, she died in reality; and, as the funeral passed along, the husband would every now and then call out, Not too near the hedge, not too near the hedge, neighbours. 540. The Germans sleep between two beds; and it is related, that an Irish traveller, upon finding a feather-bed thus laid over him, took it into his head that the people slept in strata, one upon the other, and said to the attendant, Will you be good enough to tell the gentleman or lady that is to lay over me, to make haste, as I wish to go to sleep. 541. When Lord Chesterfield was in administration, he proposed a person to his late majesty as proper to fill a place of great trust, but which the king himself was determined should be filled by another. The council, however, resolved not to indulge the king, for fear of a dangerous precedent. It was Lord Chesterfield’s business to present the grant of office for the king’s signature. Not to incense his majesty, by asking him abruptly, he, with great humility, begged to know with whose name his majesty would be pleased to have the blanks filled up? With the devil’s! replied the king, in a paroxysm of rage. And shall the instrument, said the earl coolly, run as usual, Our trusty and well-beloved cousin and counsellor?―a repartee at which the king laughed heartily, and with great good humour signed the grant. 542. A fire happening at a public-house, one of the crowd was requesting the engineer to play against the wainscot: but being told it was in no danger, I am sorry for that, said he, because I have a long score upon it, which I shall never be able to pay. 543. Among the curiosities at Apsley House, is the truckle bed in which the Duke of Wellington slept. Why it is so narrow? exclaimed a friend; there is not room to turn in it. Turn in it! cried his grace, when once a man begins to turn in bed, it is time to turn out. 544. A person of the name of Fish, having made a short trip in a balloon, on coming again to _terra firma_, was seized with a swoon. A gentleman asking one of the crowd collected around him, What was the matter? was answered, Nothing but a flat fish, who has been out of his element. 545. I can’t conceive, said one nobleman to another, how it is that you manage: I am convinced that you are not of a temper to spend more than your income; and yet, though your estate is less than mine, I could not afford to live at the rate you do. My lord, said the other, I have a situation. A situation! you amaze me, I never heard of it till now―pray what is it? I am my own steward.