John Bull, Junior; or, French as She is TraducedO'Rell, Max
General
John Bull, Junior; or, French as She is Traduced
O'Rell, Max
French language -- Study and teaching
They never part with a shilling without remarking that for a penny they
would be able to obtain the same value in France. You often wonder how
it is they stick to this country instead of honoring their own with
their presence.
* * * * *
I have always been an admirer of that worthy Frenchman who carries his
patriotism to the extent of buying all his clothing in France. He
declares it impossible to wear English garments, and almost impossible
to wear out French ones. Besides, he does not see why he should not
give his country the benefit of some of the guineas he has picked up
over here. Like every child of France, he has the love of good linen,
and according to him the article is only to be found in Paris.
So he goes about in his narrow-brimmed hat, and turned-down collar
fastened low in the neck, and finished off with a tiny black tie, a
large expanse of shirt-front, and boots with high heels and pointed
toes. As he goes along the street, he hears people whisper: "There's a
Frenchman!" But, far from objecting to that, he rather likes it, and he
is right.
He speaks bad English, and assures you that you require very few words
to make yourself understood of the people. He does not go so far as
Figaro, but his English vocabulary is of the most limited.
Without making any noise about it, he sends his guinea to all the
French Benevolent Societies in England, and wherever the tricolor
floats he is of the party.
He likes the English, and recognizes their solid qualities; but as he
possesses many of his own, he keeps to his native stock.
* * * * *
How this good Frenchman does shine by the side of another type, a type
which, I am happy to say, is rare--the one who drops his country.
The latter, when he speaks of England, says: "_We_ do this, _we_ do
that, in England," not "The English do this, the English do that." He
would like to say, "We English," but he hardly dares go that length.
He dresses _à l'anglaise_ with a vengeance, makes it a point to
frequent only English houses, and spends a good deal of his time in
running down his compatriots.
He does not belong to any of the French societies or clubs in England.
These establishments, however, do not miss him much more than his own
country.
I once knew one of this category. His name ended with an _e_ mute
preceded by a double consonant. The _e_ mute was a real sore to him,
the grief of his life. Without it he might have passed for English. It
was too provoking to be thus balked, and, as he signed his name, he
would dissimulate the poor offending little vowel, so that his name
should appear to end at the double consonant.
He was not a genius.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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