John Bull; Or, The Englishman's Fireside: A Comedy, in Five Acts — John Shaqi
John Bull; Or, The Englishman's Fireside: A Comedy, in Five ActsColman, George
General
John Bull; Or, The Englishman's Fireside: A Comedy, in Five Acts
Colman, George
Comedy plays; English drama
_Job._ Blunt or sharp, I've been honest. Let them look at my
ledger--they'll find it right. I began upon a little; I made that
little great, by industry; I never cringed to a customer, to get him
into my books, that I might hamper him with an overcharged bill, for
long credit; I earn'd my fair profits; I paid my fair way; I break
by the treachery of a friend, and my first dividend will be
seventeen shillings in the pound. I wish every tradesman in England
may clap his hand on his heart, and say as much, when he asks a
creditor to sign his certificate.
_Bur._ 'Twas I kept your ledger, all the time.
_Job._ I know you did.
_Bur._ From the time you took me out of the workhouse.
_Job._ Psha! rot the workhouse!
_Bur._ You never mention'd it to me yourself till to-day.
_Job._ I said it in a hurry.
_Bur._ And I've always remember'd it at leisure. I don't want to
brag, but I hope I've been found faithful. It's rather hard to tell
poor John Bur, the workhouse boy, after clothing, feeding, and
making him your man of trust, for two and twenty years, that you
wonder he don't run away from you, now you're in trouble.
_Job._ [_Affected._] John--I beg your pardon.
[_Stretching out his Hand._
_Bur._ [_Taking his Hand._] Don't say a word more about it.
_Job._ I--
_Bur._ Pray, now, master, don't say any more!--Come, be a man! get
on your things; and face the bailiffs that are rummaging the goods.
_Job._ I can't, John; I can't. My heart's heavier than all the iron
and brass in my shop.
_Bur._ Nay, consider what confusion!--pluck up a courage; do, now!
_Job._ Well, I'll try.
_Bur._ Aye, that's right: here's your clothes. [_Taking them from
the Back of a Chair._] They'll play the devil with all the pots and
pans, if you aren't by.--Why, I warrant you'll do! Bless you, what
should ail you?
_Job._ Ail me? do you go and get a daughter, John Bur; then let her
run away from you, and you'll know what ails me.
_Bur._ Come, here's your coat and waistcoat. [_Going to help him on
with his Clothes_] This is the waistcoat young mistress work'd with
her own hands, for your birth-day, five years ago. Come, get into
it, as quick as you can.
_Job._ [_Throwing it on the Floor violently._] I'd as lieve get into
my coffin. She'll have me there soon. Psha! rot it! I'm going to
snivel. Bur, go, and get me another.
_Bur._ Are you sure you won't put it on?
_Job._ No, I won't. [_BUR pauses._] No, I tell you.-- [_Exit BUR._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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