* * * * * "One of the largest tea houses is not ashamed to publish the following advertisement in all the public thoroughfares and railway stations of England:--'_We sell at three shillings a pound the same tea as we supply to dukes, marquises, earls, barons, and the gentry of the country._' The poor viscounts are left out in the cold: it is a regrettable oversight."[12] [12] _John Bull et son Ile_, p. 61. The oversight has been repaired; I congratulate both the viscounts and the firm. Who says books serve no purpose? Why, princes and bishops have been added. If only Her Majesty would be kind enough to give Cooper Cooper's tea a trial! * * * * * "The day the House of Lords reject any important measure passed by the Liberals, it will have dealt its own death-blow."[13] [13] _Ib._, p. 242. The operation is being performed the House having just rejected Mr. Gladstone's Franchise Bill. If it has not dealt its own death-blow, it has had a narrow squeak! How ill-inspired the lords must be in seeking a quarrel with John Bull, who has no wish to do them any harm! If I were a peer of this realm, I fancy I could make myself the most amiable and submissive being in the world. I would again say to John: "Now, look here, my dear fellow, you know the House of Lords is convenient in one way, because it spares you the trouble of holding two elections. It will always be my endeavour to make myself agreeable. I have forty or fifty thousand a year, and if you think I am going to be angry at anything the Commons may do, why, you make a huge mistake. I know I am a fifth wheel to the State coach, but you are too gentlemanly to remind me of it, if I do not make you feel that a fifth wheel can sometimes play the part of a _bâton dans les roues_. I will imitate the good example set by the Queen: when you want the Liberals, you shall have them; when you want the Conservatives, you shall have them. You, on your part, must continue to hold me in respect, and call me the _noble lord_ as hard as ever; I shall, as before, take precedence of intellect and wealth; I shall patronise literature and art, by scattering among my countrymen--for a consideration--the valuable libraries and art treasures left me by over-conservative forefathers, and protect the drama by keeping more actresses than ever. Surely, old friend, we ought to be able to rub along together." If the House of Lords should succumb, it will have the consolation of knowing that its ruin has been wrought by its most ardent friends, and not by its enemies. For that matter, a Government or Constitution generally does die at the hands of its friends _à outrance_. I also said: "The two great political parties are of about equal strength.... The Irish party however, grows more national every day, and the Government may before long have to reckon seriously with it."[14] [14] _John Bull et son Ile_, p. 243.