John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
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John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
A man of Gotham took a young buzzard, and invited four or five
gentlemen’s servants to the eating of it; but the wife killed an
old goose, and she and two of her gossips ate up the buzzard, and
the old goose was laid to the fire for the gentlemen’s servants.
So when they came the goose was set before them. What is this?
said one of them. The goodman said, a curious buzzard. A buzzard!
why, it is an old goose, and thou art a knave to mock us, and so
departed in great anger. The fellow was sorry that he had affronted
them, and took a bag and put the buzzard’s feathers in it; but his
wife desired him, before he went, to fetch a block of wood, and
in the interim she pulled out the buzzard’s feathers, and put
in the goose’s. The man, taking the bag, went to the gentlemen’s
servants, and said, Pray, be not angry with me, you shall see I
had a buzzard, for here be the feathers. Then he opened the bag,
and took out the goose’s feathers; upon which one of them took a
cudgel, and gave him a dozen of stripes, saying, Why, you knave,
could you not be content to mock us at home, but you are come here
to mock us also.
TALE XV.
A man’s wife of Gotham was brought to bed of a male child, and the
father invited the gossips, who were children of eight or ten years
of age. The eldest child’s name was Gilbert, the second’s name was
Humphrey, and the godmother was called Christabel. Their relations
admonished them divers times, that they must all say after the
parson. And when they were come to church, the priest said, Be
you all agreed of the name? Gilbert, Humphrey, and Christabel,
said the same. The priest then said, Wherefore came you hither?
They immediately said the same. The priest being amazed, could not
tell what to say, but whistled and said Whey, and so did they.
The priest being angry, said, Go home, you fools, go home. Then
Gilbert, Humphrey, and Christabel, did the same. The priest then
provided god-fathers and god-mothers himself.
TALE XVI.
A young man of Gotham went a wooing a fair maid: his mother warned
him before-hand, saying, whenever you look at her, cast a sheep’s
eye at her, and say, How dost thou my sweet Pigmy? The fellow went
to a butcher and bought seven or eight sheep eyes. And when this
lusty wooer was at dinner, he would look upon the fair wench, and
cast in her face a sheep’s eye, saying, How dost thou do, my sweet
Pigmy? How I do, said the wench; Swine’s face, what do you mean
by casting a sheep’s eye at me? O! sweet Pigmy have at thee with
another. I defy thee Swine’s face, said the wench, What my sweet
old Pigmy, be content, for if you live till next year you will be
a foul sow. Walk, knave, walk, said she, for if you live till next
year you will be a fool.
TALE XVII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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