Mither. But Sawney man, an thou see her mither Matty in the town, auld be-go laddie as you ca’ her, gie her a dram, she likes it weel; spout ye a mutchkin of molash in her cheek, ye’ll get her mind, and speed the better. Sawny. But mither, how sud I do when I gang to court her? will I kiss her, an kittle her and fling her o’er as the chiels do the hisses amang the hay. I’ve seen them gang owre ither, and owre ither, and when they grip them by the wame, they’d cry like a maukin. Mither. Hout awa, daft doug it thou is, that’s no the gate; thou maun gang in wi’ braw good manners, and something manfu’, put on a Sunday’s face, and sigh as ye were a saint, sit down beside her, as ye were a Mess John, keek aye till her now and then wi’ a stowen look, and haud your mouth as mim and grave as a May-puddock, or a whore at a christening; crack well o’ our wealth, and hide our poverty. Sawny. Ay, but mither there is some ither way in courting nor that, or the lassies would na couple so close to them. Mither. Ay, but Sawny man there’s a time for every thing, and that too; when ye sit where naebody sees you, you may tak her head in your oxter like a creesh pig; dab nebs wi’ her now and then; but be sure you keep a close mouth when you kiss her, clap her cheeks and straik her paps, but for your drowning gang na farther down; but fouks that’s married can put their hand to ony part they like. Sawny. Aha but mither I didna ken the first word o’ courting, the lassie’ll no ken what I’m com’d about. Mither. Ay will she lad, wink and keek well to her, she’ll hae a guess, seek a quiet word of her at the door, and gin it be dark, gie her a bit wee kiss when ye hae tell’d her your errand, and gin they gie you cheese and bread, or ony meat, be sure you ca’t guid, whether it be sae or no; and for my blessing, be mensfu wi your mouth, and dinna eat unca muckle, for I’ve seen you sup as mony milk brose as would have saired twa men to carry on a barrow. Sawney. Aha, but mither you’re lying now, for I never did it but ance, but an they set meat afore me an I be hungry, deil claw the clungest an I binna upsides with it for the same. Adeed mither, fouk maun hae meat an they should neer get wives, and there some of them no worth cursing, an a body werna setting an oath whether or no; a hear ye that now, when ye put me till’t, and gar me speak, ay by my sooth, I would rather hae a bit good poney and a pund of cheese, or I were bound to bab after ony hizzies buttocks I see yet. Mither. Wa Sawny man, thou’s a fool, an that’s a fault; gin every ane were as easy about women as thou is, the warld wad be a wilderness in a wee time, there wad be nae body to inhabit the earth but brute beasts; cats and dogs wad be worrying ither, and every thing wad gae to confusion. Gae to the courting, ye dog that ye are, and either do something or naething at a’. END OF PART I. PART II.