Now Wise Willie had a daughter called Rolling Coughing Jenny, because she spak thick, sax words at three times, half sense and half nonsense, as her own records will bear witness. She being with child, and delivered of a bonnie lassie; and all the wives in the town cried out be-go, laddie, it’s just like its ain father, lang Sandy Tason (or Thomson), we ken by his lang nose; for Sandy had a great muckle red nose, like a labster’s tae, bowed at the point like a hawk’s neb, and Sandy himself said that it was surely his, or some other body’s; but he had used a’ his bir at the getting o’t to try his abilities, being the first time ever he was at sic a business before; and when he had done a’ that man could do at it, he said it was nonsense; and shame fa’ him, but he would rather row his boat round the Bass and back again, or he’d do the like again; for Wise Willie gade wude at the bairn, and said it had mair ill nature than the auldest wife in the town, for it pissed the bed, skirl’d like a wild cat, & kept him frae his night’s rest; the auld hags about the town ca’d him Sandy the bairn’s daddy; and a’ the young gillie-gaukies o’ lasses held out their fingers and cried, Ti hi hi, Sandy, the Kirk will kittle your hips for that: And after a’ the blear-eye’d bell-man came bladering about the buttock meal, summoned him and her before the haly band--a court that was held in the Kirk on Saturday morning--and all the herd laddies round about cried, Ay, ay, Sandy, pay the bull-siller, or we’ll cut the cow’s tail awa’. So poor Sandy suffered sadly in the flesh, besides the penalty and Kirk penance. [Illustration] But Wise Willie had pity on them, and gade wi’ them to the Kirk-court, what learned fouk call the Session. Jenny was first called upon, and in she goes where a’ the haly band was convened, elders and younger deacons, and dog payers, keeping the door, the cankerdest carles that could be gotten between Dysart and Duddy-side--white heads and bald heads sitting wantin’ bonnets, wi’ their white headed staffs, and hodden grey jockey-coats about them. Mess John says, come away, Janet, we’re waiting on you here. Min.--Now, Janet, where was this child gotten? you must tell us this plainly. Jan.--Adeed sir, it was gotten at the black stanes, at the cheek of the crabb holes. Mess John stares at her, not knowing the place, but some of the elders did. Then said he, O Janet, but the devil was busy with you at that time! Jan.--A, by my fegs sir, that’s a great lie ye’re telling now, for the deil wasna there that I saw, nor ony body else, to bid us do ae thing or anither: we lo’ed ither unco weel for a lang time before that, an syne we tell’d ither, and agreed to marry ither, like honest fouk; then might na we learn to do the thing married fouk do, without the deil helping us. [Illustration] Whisht, whisht, cried they, ye should be scourged, sausie loon quien that thou is, ye’re speaking nonsense.